Wednesday, March 12, 2008


Of all the stupid tattoos I have seen in my life (and there have been many) there was one I saw last night that immediately demanded recognition as the worst, most pretentious tattoo I have seen in my life. The odd thing about it is that I do not know who to blame for this scarlet letter, the tattoo artist or the fool that wanted it.

Perhaps some context first. I was sitting in the bar, cleaning shit off of tables just like any other night. It was particularly slow that night, so all the staff was drinking heavily (myself included), buying rounds of shots to help pass the time. We all have varied tastes; some like me take it straight and dirty (Jameson), some like it a bit sweeter with less bite (Stoli O), still others desire to dress their drink up and make it more than it is (Jager bombs). Also, one girl drinks just tequila, which I can no longer do due to my extensive vacationing in and around Mexico. So when ten o'clock rolls around we are all sufficiently hammered, especially the bartender who is at about 17 shots at this point between the shots we bought him and the ones the patrons did, too. Most of that night is a blur, an unfocused image that I have to try and refocus. The man with the tattoo needs no focus.

He struts into the bar with his cowboy friends, maybe four of them in total. All are fairly large in build most likely due to a cycle or two of steroids. They look like the type of guy I used to see when I worked the graveyard shift at Gold's Gym. He is typically in his forties, balding, triangle-shaped, over aggressive and definitely divorced (usually more than once). I can remember conversations with men that involved what music was more intense to work out to. I would jest about listening to Liz Phair or some shit to see if I could get a rise out of them, but most just gave me blank stares.

Anyway so these guys stroll in. Immediately amongst his friends I pick this dude out because of his tattoo. His head is shaved and around his head he has a crown of thorns! I shit you not!! Around his stupid shaved head he has a mother fucking crown of thorns as if to say he is like Jesus. WHAT!?!? I have never seen something so incredibly, so blatantly ridiculous in all my life. What makes it even more terrible is the thought that this guy thought he was being totally awesome by rocking the thorns; showing how Christian he is, which is more than you! What a shame that people like him exist in our world. I bet he has his favorite psalm tattooed across his shaft.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

What makes you any better than him by writing an internet blog about it? Different strokes for different folks. We are all odd in our own way yet we are all loved by Jesus just the same.

Anonymous said...

agreed

Anonymous said...

agreed with Sep 9th as well.

Anonymous said...

There is no god. Religion is just astrology bullshit repackaged for each culture... Jesus does not love you, and likely never existed.

Anonymous said...

Well there is obviously something out there of a higher power because it werent no big bang bullshit that created this earth. Oh and yes GOD loves you too ye of lil or no faith at all.

Anonymous said...

Awesome tat! I've got one that looks very similar though I don't have a crown of thorns on my head. Christ is real! The Lord has affected my life very dramatically. I wouldn't be here today without God's grace.

Unknown said...

I most certainly agree with the person who posted on September 9, 2008. Who says Jesus Christ is bs? and then Blogs about it? And then you judge some one else by their doings? Ha. Thats funny and very hypicritical... I guess Judge to be Judged right? Next time think about it when you blog about some one else.. Stupid.

angel said...

Yeah I can see how this would raise an eyebrow. But that's a risk people take when they get a tattoo in a noticeable spot. I'm sure if he had God hates us all on the back of his head people would judge and say stuff. So I guess its all about perspective. And no-one is perfect, most people have made assumptions about people! First impressions are lasting impression. But no-one is right its all opinions which everyone is intitled too