I echo what Suzie said about not posting what I write sometimes. I just wrote about a full page on videogames and womanizing, philandering and general nonsense that had no central theme and then just now, erased it. I agree with her that the despite the personal nature of blogs and the ability to express opinion through your own writing, as Tony said, there are some things that I am loathe to post on, despite my apparent want. Only during the review process of reading my potential post do I scrutinize the backspace key, contemplating its use. The cursor selects the draft in its entirety, a subsequent click and boom, it’s all gone. Every word, every thought, every period has vanished and replaced by nothing, replaced by this.

I actually have this innate fear that I will write something that sounds deeper than it is, too pretentious to be my own thought even though it might just be that. I don’t want to be called out for looking at things too critically or not critically enough, and I don’t want to skirt the line either. I want my writings to be of consequence, not causality. That sentence is a perfect example. I’ll keep it though, because writing two full drafts and posting neither would be silly.

At the bar party the other night I drank myself retarded, retarded puked on the ground drunk. Don’t really remember all of the night, especially the closing hours, but I did manage to get home to my bed much to my surprise when I woke up, still dressed from the night before with the taste of vomit in my mouth and a pounding, deserved head ache. I willed myself to brush my teeth, strip down my clothes, write a quick email to my boss letting her know of my absence that day, and crawled back into bed where I laid for the remainder of the day. Pretty pathetic, but like I said, I deserved that miserable condition. Drinking short 7&7s out of pint glasses is a surefire way to punish oneself. Mix in a couple of shots, beer and what was once prime rib, and you have yourself a recipe for failure. I thought the elements added up to a great time, who knew?

I slowly emerged from hangover, cocoon-state around 6PM last night, took a shower and debated what to eat finally settling on really cold, grape Kool-Aid for dinner. For some reason I crave really cold things when I am hung over, like an otter pop. Last night, an otter pop would have been choice. Sir Isaac Lime would have treated me royally. Maybe some Poncho Punch. Of course, as I was trying to sleep off the previous nights decisions, potential Phoenix employers started to call me only to receive my voicemail. I landed two interviews, one for today and one for tomorrow, huzzah! I’m glad I made no effort to pick up my phone, in my state they would have probably just hung up on me. The good news is that if I land one of these jobs I will get (A) a huge pay increase and (B) out of my lease without being charged an additional month’s rent.

This will mean a revisit to my parent’s house, but since they are awesome and rich, I will have even more of an opportunity to save money. This money will go into the house I will be renting and a new bed, a queen sized bed with room enough for my hypothetical dog, my lady friend and me. This time I might actually get a bed frame and headboard too, you know, like an adult (Please note that I had this exact sentence in my first draft and since I liked it so much decided it needed a place in this, new, draft). The bed frame will undoubtedly come from IKEA, which is right by my parent’s house. God I miss that store. Then some investment in some art, some wall décor and then if money permits, a new flat screen would be boss. That’s kind of on the wants list rather than the needs list, which has bed, dog and GTA IV on it.

In other dork news, I ordered Bioshock and Mario Galaxy to see if they live up to all the hype. That, and I have nothing to do with the mountain being closed. Did I mention that we closed? I probably did because it is bullshit. It’s bullshit because since we closed we have gotten over a foot of fresh snow that is now sitting on our mountain, mocking me and the rest of the residents of Steamboat. It’s snowing and it is almost the middle of April, WTF?