After reading the news all day it is hard to remain optimistic about anything. Is that called being an adult or can I just blame it on the media? Probably both. Work defintely affords me the ability to be more "worldly" but it charges my carefree demenor. I eventually recover every night, but during the day I hit these pessimistic slumps where I just can't see anything good lately.

My solution: An intervention for America. America pretends to be filming a documentary about oil use, all the while unsuspecting that an eventual intervention will take place. America will be invited to a hotel in a safe, neutral location (Canada or Iceland being ideal) and told that it will be concluding the documentary. Once the door is open to the hotel room, BAM! Inside will be Switzerland, Sweden, Finland, Norway and Costa Rica waiting to tell America how much they love America, but that it's appetite for oil is destroying America in the following ways;

1. Since being addicted to oil, you are producing too much Carbon dioxide.

2. Since being addicted to oil, you have become increasingly hostile to your friends and family.

3. Since being addicted to oil, you have put a financial strain on those who care about you.

Followed by, America, if you do not seek help and treatment for your addiction our relationship with you will change in the following ways;

1. We will not commit troops to yor foreign wars.

2. We will no longer view you as a champion of human rights.

3. We will not allow you to borrow any more money to support your habit.

Wait a minute...that's already happened! I guess America decided it was better to kick back a barrel or two and skip out on the intervention. It's a shame too, I used to like America. I'm sure America will get by, but it will never reach its potential. Such a waste. Waste that is killing out planet.

Seriously though, kinda depressing to think about unless you do it like I do, in a comical fashion. Newsweek's Tom Kloza defintely had the best quote when talking about America's addiction to oil, "All this talk of energy independence means nothing if you don't have energy discipline. When it comes to our gasoline consumption, we're [Americans] the morbidly obese of the world. And like the person who weighs 350 pounds, we need to exercise more and consume less." Tom, take a look around you. If you're not 350 pounds you're an exception to the rule. People will ask you why you are wasting away. Sigh.

Dave Attel can be a very funny man. Case in point: Last night I was watching late night TV with my roommate, and while I hate late night TV (save Conan of course), he thoroughly enjoys it. He flips to the Jimmy Kimmel show, I think, and there is Mr. Attel giving a preview of his new comedy special. On the clip he states how much he enjoys when political candidates drop out of the Presidential race by saying something to the effect of, “ ‘I’m graciously bowing out of my bid for the Presidency for the good of [my] the party.’ Why can’t people at normal, regular parties do that? Just say they are leaving for the good of the party, wouldn’t that be awesome?” He’s so spot on with that, but it got me thinking about the current Presidential race and how much I am dreading it.

Does this Presidential race look at all familiar? Could one, if one were so inclined, draw parallels to say, another presidential race? Would it be that hard to picture Obama and Hillary as Bush and Gore during the 2000 election? Would Kucinich be any more of a realistic candidate? Admittedly, I already know the answer to the last question, unfortunately Dennis doesn’t. But seriously, it has me worried. I don’t think the country has quite recovered from the drag it out, who knows who really won the election, which was 2000. I can see Obama and Hillary taking this to the extreme and ultimately hurting their chances, either one, at becoming President.

Look at the last “Super Tuesday” in Pennsylvania. For an entire month full of speculation, full of political analysis, full of public blunders what did we, the American public, get in the end? Hillary chipped into Obama’s lead by ten votes. Ten fucking votes!? Then, superdelegates declare for Obama all the same. What the hell is the point? I wish someone would have the courage the grace to just admit that it is lost. I mean, the best thing that can be said for this prolonged contest is that I am starting to remember all 50 states and their capitals (Knowledge I lost due to drinking and not being in fifth grade). I am sick and tired of inconsequential states mattering long before they are supposed to get their limelight on, Election night, the way it should be. Sorry Indiana, but your greatest claim to fame is Larry Bird.

I think I missed my calling in life. While watching the Yankees pound the White Sox last night I overheard the announcer mention White Sox Catcher A.J. Pierzynski. At first it was this odd conversation about how he had lost weight, some 20 pounds. At the time, I remember thinking how dull this baseball was that the sportscaster resorted to talking about a catcher’s weight. Then, the announcer said something to the effect of how proud Mr. Pierzynski was of his ability to piss people off. Specifically, the batters who stand next to him.

Apparently, it is a desirable quality of a catcher to be able to piss batters off. Why was this never reinforced on me when I participated in little league? I thought the catcher position was the worst because you just sat there and waited for the pitcher to throw you the ball time after time. Little did I know that the catcher position was actually the best possible position for me to play because I love to make fun of people. I probably could have made it to the majors with a little boost from steroids to give my batting an edge. I would not have to be concerned about my piss poor fielding or finding ways to pass the time because I could just rip on the dude at bat and never move. I blame all of my youth sports coaches for this one, thanks guys. You let a kid with a talent go undiscovered.

On a different note, as I returned to work today I noticed a flier on my office door:

“To whomever hit my 1999 Silver Suburu Forrester, please know that karma will catch up with you if you do not come forward.”

A lady, who my roommate and I constantly rip on for being a not-so-super person, signed it. The irony being that karma finally caught up to her, so the karma she is seeking to punish someone else should go unfulfilled if the world works the way that I think it does. Plus it is a Suburu, plus it is more than likely cosmetic, plus she is not-so-super, so…the sign actually cheered me up as I was dreading sitting behind a desk all day.

You would think that being gone for three days would ensure that I have something to do to fill my time, but I don’t, not really. There are a couple of miscellaneous things that I need to do, none of them requiring much effort. I will more than likely space them out between writing this, surfing the news, writing another blog post, and browsing through the jobs in Phoenix. At least tomorrow is Friday and it is my first day back. Working only two days then having two days off is grand. Don’t you think people would be a hell of a lot more happy at work if they adopted a 2 day on, 2 day off policy and just nix the whole weekend idea? I do.

In things that depress me news, a group of 4 out of Birmingham, Alabama is suing Southwest Airlines over safety and contractual violations. I saw this coming the instant I read the initial report on Southwest’s little hiccup.

The lawsuit covers an estimated 10,000 people who flew Southwest over a period when safety inspections were relaxed and planes were allowed to reschedule their six-month regular visit to the Plane dentist, so to speak. At a time when airlines are scrambling to figure out ways to make flying profitable, some jackoff wants to take advantage of the situation and see how many dimes he can shake out. Call me crazy, but suing one of the most affordable airlines in the world over something that NEVER happened doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to the consumer.

Already facing a possible 10 million dollar fine, add the cost of litigation and possible settlement to an already volatile market and what do you get? Cheaper plane tickets and safer airplanes? No and no. What you get is creative customer fees to compensate. $20 for extra leg room sound familiar? $25 for a second bag?

What’s even more disgusting about this situation is that the people suing will likely champion safety as their number 1 concern, not monetary gain. I would be more okay with the situation if the plaintiffs just came out and stated that they saw an opportunity to get money and jumped at the chance because they are greedy people that have no work ethic. I would be fine with that.

What’s yet more disturbing is the support of lawsuits like this. People will likely rally behind this lawsuit and attempt to claim their piece of the pie. I’ve flown Southwest practically my whole life and if I get a check in the mail based on the outcome of this settlement I will just return it to sender and write on the check, thanks but no thanks.

When I need money I think I am going to go around and test the tire pressure of all our city bus tires. Then, when I inevitably discover that it is lower than it should be because tires leak air over time (like stress cracks a fuselage over time) I will find some crackpot lawyer who is willing to work for nothing but a percentage of a potential settlement, and sue the city. Of course, I will make sure to claim I was just looking out for the safety of those who ride the bus, mention how precious children lives are, maybe throw in the environment and I should be a millionaire in 6-8 months. In a nutshell, that is what’s going on in ‘Bama right now. LONG LIVE THE SOUTH!

Yesterday we dumped what were once, five years ago, state of the art computers. Probably like twenty of them. One of my managers rounded up all the guys and instructed us to gather the aged computers and dispose of them. I do not know why she picked yesterday of all days to do so when they have been sitting there since I started this job but I guess that is why I am not the one making the important decisions. Apparently I have to work in the professional setting 5-10 years before I get to decide when to take out the trash.

As we were taking the computers to their new home, there was a funny little box sitting next to them. I asked if this was trash, too. It was. I’ve never seen a box like this before, so naturally I was a bit curious. It was about the size of a rectangular, modest-sized Christmas present. I bend down to pick it up and upon gripping it I discovered that little box weighed about 50 pounds. Why the hell would something that looks like it weighs maybe 5 pounds weigh 50? It had a bunch of power outlets on the back so my first thought was that it might be some sort of original steam-powered surge protector.

I can just imagine the pioneers of the young surge protector business, able to finally harness the power of electricity for an extra minute so they could properly power down their coal-fueled computers without causing a boiler explosion. This invention might have single handedly reduced the once abundant British orphan population that was so reliant on pre-industrial revolution computers in early 19th century America. Barons would soon arise to dominant the surge protector business such as…well to be honest I don’t know any brand names for surge protectors and do not feel like googling it. Point is, I was holding a piece of computer history in my hands.

Lost in fanciful dreams, a co-worker of mine brought me back to 2008 when he asked what I was doing. I told him I was curious as to what the thing I was holding did. Very flatly he stated it was a backup lead battery. No imagination, no charm, just your run of the mill battery. He then exited the room. It made sense when I think about my car battery and when I had to replace that. The damn thing weighed a ton, and so too, did this battery. Fraternal twins separated at birth, the batteries would lead competing lives. Like Romulus and Remus, the batteries vied for superiority. In the end, I use a car battery still and did not know what a backup lead battery even looked like prior to yesterday.

I heaved the lead battery into the trash, but for my arrogance was punished by the fallen god. The lead battery sliced open my thumb leaving me to forever wonder when my last Tetanus shot was.

I’m a pretty avid hold ‘em player. I used to play a poker game about once a week back home, but finding a good poker circle here has been anything but easy. The first week I was here I saw an ad in the paper for a poker league so I figured I would go and check it out. It was in a bar after hours with some shadey folks, but whatever. We played two games, the first was just a free one that was counted against the league scores, and the second was a $10 cash game.

The first game I admittedly did not play well on purpose because I wanted to see what other people would play with. I made it to the final table and pushed my luck with low-tier hands to give people the idea that I “kinda” knew what I was doing. Sure enough, they marked me as an easy take and invited me to play the cash game afterwards. I stepped up my game, considerably, and ended up winning everyone’s money. Needless to say they were not terribly enthused that I had just ran the table. I opted not to play with them again just because it wasn’t really a challenge, and I reckoned they might hit me over the head with a barstool or something else blunt.

My poker medium has been mainly online since that night. I’ve had some ups and downs with that avenue, but for the most part ups, luckily. I think I have won a little over a thousand bucks in the six months that I have been playing, so that’s a good sign that I am doing things right. Last night I entered one free tournament and placed first, buying me entry into a $20 buy-in tournament, which I also placed first! Out of 600 people I got first! If it was a regular game I would have earned a handsome sum of money, but the winner of that tournament got entry into a million dollar tournament. So, I am entered into a million dollar tournament without paying a dime. Given the current trend, I think I have a decent chance of placing, too, and getting some real money out of this one. Top prize is like 750K, which I don’t think I am capable of winning at this level, but I might be able to walk away with a couple thousand.

I’m petty excited about this one. I think one of the most valuable transferable skills I learned from Poker is the ability to control my excitement and manage the pressure better. I have always been good at not letting pressure affect my performance, but poker has reinforced and refined this skill. The job search continues, but if I won some serious money it would not have to…that would be indescribably amazing but I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm a realist.

Another long + boring weekend here in Steamboat, but it always provides the perfect opportunity for thought and speculation. Mainly about the important things, existential questions, questions about the universe, questions about yourself. It can all become a bit much at times, so one needs to be careful enough to dull the mind’s razor with alcohol. I listened to my ipod by the river today and it was good. The sun was out all day and I could feel warmth for the first time in months. With my sunglasses I took in my surroundings and was just completely at peace. I thought a lot about the movie Big Fish, which I watched for the first time last night. I was really, really surprised with how much I liked that movie. I have owned that movie for the better part of a year and not once did I even think of watching it. It came with another movie I had bought, something terrible that I cannot even remember. I saw a lot of myself in the main character, Edward Bloom.

Edward Bloom was a man known for exaggerating the truth. Some see it as a fault, others as a blessing. His intention was never to deceive, simply to entertain and add color and vitality to an otherwise bland story. His own son identified him as a liar, but is stretching the truth a lie? I’ve never thought so, but some people do. The ending is so wonderfully satisfying and beautiful, when all of Edward’s stories are shown to be at least partially true. It reveals the character that was Edward and finally he connects with his son.

Now, it should be noted that I am often drawn to movies about sons and their relationship with their fathers. I base this on not really having a dad. Yes, he’s alive and yes he does the basics, but having a relationship where I see him once every some odd years and talk about some trivial bullshit is not a relationship. He has no idea who I am, he has no idea about the girls I kissed, no idea what my graduation was like. He had no advice for me during college, only treating me like the thirteen year old he so readily left behind. Over time I grew up and turned into an adult, a transformation he has yet to realize. I’m not one to cry over spilt milk, what’s done is done and I am stronger for it. I taught myself most of what I know, through the lack of experience which lead to poor judgment which lead to many, many mistakes. I learned from all of them, or am still learning from them. I don’t look forward to the mistakes to come because I know I have more ahead of me then I do behind me.

Today, things just felt right. I pictured some people, where they fit in my life and maybe why they didn’t fit at all. It started with my father but I quickly drew a tangent. I eventually focused my energies on a girl, as I tend to do. Until today she had more of my energies than she deserved. One of those nagging what ifs, you know the kind. The what happened, what could have been, why did it happen, etc. One of those. For the longest time I felt it was my fault, as though I had done something wrong by pushing her away for what she had done. I would replay the scenario in my head, what I could have said, what I could have done to change the way things are. Well today I was watching a guy fish and sipping on my beer, the mountain making a curtain against the sky when suddenly, he caught a fish. The glimmer was blinding as he pulled the modest fish out of the river. He grabbed the line, freed the fish and gave it one last look before tossing it back. The fish would grow. It struck me that was exactly what I had done with her. I let her go so she could grow and I, like the fisherman, could move further along the riverbank. The river will keep running.

I really felt like I laid to rest a demon today, sitting there watching winter give way to spring. There’s too many good things in this world to be hung up on some of the bad, no matter how deep the cut is. Even the deepest of cuts scar, serving as a reminder of where you came from. You may not look the same, but you’ll move on just like the flow of a river. Rivers eventually find their way back to the ocean, and so too, must we.

I apologize for the abundant water metaphors. It should be noted that being semi buzzed and listening to Coldplay while sitting by a river can cause one to write something like this.

Spring is still failing at its job seeing as it is STILL snowing. Just thought I’d let you all know.

Can I just tell you how glad I am that I never ever fly American? Part of me feels bad for the 250,000 people that have been affected by this, but then the other part of me just wants to laugh. I don’t think I would mind if my flight got cancelled, airports have enough to do in them. I certainly wouldn’t raise a big stink about it and demand money or compensation because the airlines cannot afford it.

Some columnist on MSNBC wrote an article about how he was boycotting flying on all carriers, given all the safety violations, delays and cancellations. That’s fine if he wants to be a moron about the situation, but the thing that bothered me was all the comments left on his article. The vast majority of people were in agreement with him! There were about 250 comments or so saying that they would also not fly, or have not flown because of the negligence of the airlines. I would like to put all these people in a room and just ask them when was the last serious plane accident as a result of negligence. I bet I would get about 250 blank stares. Get a clue people; you’ll never get anywhere efficiently.

On top of this, people are “outraged” by the price of a plane ticket. Really? I mean, if a post college graduate with loans to pay, barely making it in a resort town can afford 5-10 plane tickets a year, why can’t you? What’s that, you have family? Then drive like everyone else. I cannot tell you the agony/bonding that I was forced into by family road trips. I’m sorry gas is expensive, but you really are out of choices here. And another thing, if you really do actually boycott airlines, the demand for air travel will go down, which will adversely affect prices with airlines having to raise prices to compensate for shortages. Basic economics.

Another guy boldly suggested working on the train infrastructure here in the United States to model Europe’s. That won’t happen because you are the same impatient person who fifty years ago wanted to fly because train travel was too slow, which lead to advancements in the airline industry that you no longer support. On the upside, I am certainly willing to pay a little more, especially if it means a more vacant plane, but I don’t think that will happen with my luck since I fly with airlines that get it. Sure, Southwest had some cracked fuselages, but has Southwest ever had an air disaster? Nope, not one. A cynic can play the what if game all they want, but I’ll let the facts speak for themselves. That, or I can let the crew speak, who have gone on record saying why in the world would they continually board a plane they knew to be unsafe. They wouldn’t.

I will say that one of the true joys of my European backpacking experience two years ago was riding the trains. There was so much time to sit and think, listen to music, to absorb, to talk to your friends and have a civilized conversation in the dining car over cigarettes and wine. Americans are too impatient for this system to exist with great success here, which saddens me. We all fly, and if we can’t afford to, we think about flying. Ask a person who has never flown (if you can find one) if they would like to one day. I bet their answer would be yes.

I’m hoping for my sake that there is little interruption with my flight to Phoenix in a week, but you never know. I would put money on a weather delay being more likely than technical issues, seeing as I am flying out of Denver.

The Suns burned the Spurs last night, so that was good. I’m pretty sure I am the only Suns fan in all of Steamboat, but I revel in my fandom all the same: Sporting the Suns new era ball cap, rocking the Suns practice shorts, and slamming beers for them. After last night I feel very good about the playoffs for two reasons:

1. The Suns will advance far, based off the play I saw last night. That was the best game they have played since acquiring the Big Cactus, and it demonstrated exactly why we dumped Marion for Shaq. I’m sure other NBA teams are watching the film, showing their players how Phoenix attacked. If it wasn’t Amare it was Shaq, and when they get in foul trouble, we run. It’s a devastating combo that is hard to adjust to because there will always be a mismatch on the floor thanks to Mr. Nash, Canada's best contribution to America. Seeing Shaq inbound for the small lineup minus Nash was interesting, too. We have everything we were criticized for not having last year.

2. The Spurs will not advance far. They choked, again, for the second time in a week against a potential playoff match up. Both times, they were blown out in the fourth quarter. They barely managed to beat the Blazers. I’ll give the Blazers their due; they are a good team and will be scary good in a couple of years, maybe after the Suns have set. It looks like San Antonio’s dynasty might be over and thank god; I can’t stand them for their boring basketball, their cheap fouling/flopping players and their annoying fans that sputter on and on about how great Tim Duncan is. I’ve heard it; we’ve all heard it.

I think other NBA teams took note last night, that Phoenix can be scary good if they are in sync. When we get production and hustle from out bench and when that happens, we look like a championship team.

Enough of my hard-on for the Suns though, there’ll be more to come I’m sure. So today I have an interview/negotiation on a job in North Scottsdale, so that’s exciting. Ideally I would like to take some time off in between jobs if I can wrangle a decent salary out of them, which I think I can. 3 weeks wouldn’t be asking a lot, given relocation, etc. Of course, they could sniff that scam out pretty fast since I believe I told them I have family in Phoenix and can easily move there immediately. We’ll see. Can I just say how nice it would be if I land this job with what I want and get to leave the massive piles of snow behind? It’d be great, in case you’re curious. I get a teaser trip to Phoenix a week from tomorrow for five days regardless of getting a job or not, the longest I will have been home since I moved.

A problem I do have with moving, how the F am I supposed to get all my shit home? Over the season I amassed 6 snowboards and I don’t have a ski rack and I drive a Civic. Not good planning on my part and I might be forced to ship some stuff, which I am dreading simply because of cost. I think if I take off all the bindings and stack them it will minimize the space they take up, but not by a whole bunch. Logistically, it just doesn’t make sense given the tight quarters I had driving up here, but we can always hope and pray. I want to raid my closet and dump all the clothes I never wear, but I always suck at that because I grab a shirt and think about the last time I wore it and typically decide that I will wear it again. If I was blind that shit would be cake, but everything else would not be. Added to the clothes dilemma is all my snowboarding gear, which is large and takes up a lot of space, too. I might be able to ship that stuff at a reasonable rate though. Maybe I’ll do that. I got my credit limit extended well beyond what it should be and that seems like a good use.

My interview is at 2PM MST, wish me luck, not that I need. Give that to the Spurs.

Forgot to mention, Suns and Spurs in San Antonio tonight on ESPN. Can't wait to watch Amare, Nash, Shaq, and Bell make Duncan, Parker, Ginobli and crew their bitch. Get excited! It's almost playoff time...

I echo what Suzie said about not posting what I write sometimes. I just wrote about a full page on videogames and womanizing, philandering and general nonsense that had no central theme and then just now, erased it. I agree with her that the despite the personal nature of blogs and the ability to express opinion through your own writing, as Tony said, there are some things that I am loathe to post on, despite my apparent want. Only during the review process of reading my potential post do I scrutinize the backspace key, contemplating its use. The cursor selects the draft in its entirety, a subsequent click and boom, it’s all gone. Every word, every thought, every period has vanished and replaced by nothing, replaced by this.

I actually have this innate fear that I will write something that sounds deeper than it is, too pretentious to be my own thought even though it might just be that. I don’t want to be called out for looking at things too critically or not critically enough, and I don’t want to skirt the line either. I want my writings to be of consequence, not causality. That sentence is a perfect example. I’ll keep it though, because writing two full drafts and posting neither would be silly.

At the bar party the other night I drank myself retarded, retarded puked on the ground drunk. Don’t really remember all of the night, especially the closing hours, but I did manage to get home to my bed much to my surprise when I woke up, still dressed from the night before with the taste of vomit in my mouth and a pounding, deserved head ache. I willed myself to brush my teeth, strip down my clothes, write a quick email to my boss letting her know of my absence that day, and crawled back into bed where I laid for the remainder of the day. Pretty pathetic, but like I said, I deserved that miserable condition. Drinking short 7&7s out of pint glasses is a surefire way to punish oneself. Mix in a couple of shots, beer and what was once prime rib, and you have yourself a recipe for failure. I thought the elements added up to a great time, who knew?

I slowly emerged from hangover, cocoon-state around 6PM last night, took a shower and debated what to eat finally settling on really cold, grape Kool-Aid for dinner. For some reason I crave really cold things when I am hung over, like an otter pop. Last night, an otter pop would have been choice. Sir Isaac Lime would have treated me royally. Maybe some Poncho Punch. Of course, as I was trying to sleep off the previous nights decisions, potential Phoenix employers started to call me only to receive my voicemail. I landed two interviews, one for today and one for tomorrow, huzzah! I’m glad I made no effort to pick up my phone, in my state they would have probably just hung up on me. The good news is that if I land one of these jobs I will get (A) a huge pay increase and (B) out of my lease without being charged an additional month’s rent.

This will mean a revisit to my parent’s house, but since they are awesome and rich, I will have even more of an opportunity to save money. This money will go into the house I will be renting and a new bed, a queen sized bed with room enough for my hypothetical dog, my lady friend and me. This time I might actually get a bed frame and headboard too, you know, like an adult (Please note that I had this exact sentence in my first draft and since I liked it so much decided it needed a place in this, new, draft). The bed frame will undoubtedly come from IKEA, which is right by my parent’s house. God I miss that store. Then some investment in some art, some wall décor and then if money permits, a new flat screen would be boss. That’s kind of on the wants list rather than the needs list, which has bed, dog and GTA IV on it.

In other dork news, I ordered Bioshock and Mario Galaxy to see if they live up to all the hype. That, and I have nothing to do with the mountain being closed. Did I mention that we closed? I probably did because it is bullshit. It’s bullshit because since we closed we have gotten over a foot of fresh snow that is now sitting on our mountain, mocking me and the rest of the residents of Steamboat. It’s snowing and it is almost the middle of April, WTF?

It’s the end of the season here in Steamboat, which means it is time to earn your turns and hike up the mountain if you wanna ride. That means snowshoes. I don’t have those and I don’t feel like hiking, so I guess I will have to drive down to A-Basin or something in order to get my runs in until I am out of Colorado. It’s continuing to snow and the forecast calls for snow followed by snow and then more snow. It’s enough to make me sick, it is just draining to wake up to grey skies every morning and see little white flakes cascade down. It’s April, weather! Get it together! I want to be by a pool tanning myself with a cold beer and/or margarita in my hand, worried about little else other than maybe how much SPF I have applied.

On the plus side, it is a half-day at work because of the employee party they scheduled in the middle of the day at 11:30. Don’t ask me to explain that one, or anything else the mountain does as it makes little sense to me, too. I think I am going to opt not to go to the party because I have an employee party for the bar tonight as well and apparently that is just a shit show so I have to be on my best behavior up ‘til then. I will probably just head home and kick it, take the shower I did not have time for this morning and maybe jerk off or something. What a day!

All the people at the bar had a party yesterday and I kept telling myself I would go and say hi since there would be a keg and all, but when it came down to it I found myself in my living room playing poker with no desire at all to go over there. I think it is because I just don’t feel like I was ever appreciated for what I did there. It’s not a big deal, I just think people should take the time to realize how much and how hard I was working for what I would consider less than fair earnings. I don’t want to sound ungrateful and I kept my mouth shut all season, but looking back on the experience I do not think I will be repeating it. Live and learn I guess.

Tonight should be interesting and I’ll probably tow my camera along just so I can document the shit show. I will more than likely make an early exit there too, since unlike most of my co-workers there, have a day job. Sigh. I wonder when I started growing up and why I can’t just revert back to my dumb, drunk 19 year old self sometimes…

The sun is out today, that’s nice of it considering we are supposed to get snow the next 4 days. This winter has been especially long mainly because I have not experienced winter in like 14 years or something. Winter was officially epic when it was featured prominently on MTV’s the Hills, when Heidi went home to Crested Butte, Colorado. Now don’t get the wrong idea, I do not watch that hot garbage, but every now and then MTV sneaks up on you like a mugger in a dark ally and holds you hostage for a moment or two. I should know, I have been on MTV twice: Once on Room Raiders, and another time on High School Stories: Scandals Pranks and Controversies. I am not proud of either.

Anyway, the Hills did have some lovely shots of Crested Butte, which just so happens to be some amazing ski country that I highly recommend. As we near the 500-inch mark for the season snowfall, the entire western United States can breathe a sigh of relief because reservoirs will be filling up. Our season average is just over 330 inches, so this definitely qualifies as epic. Lake Powel has risen 50 feet this year and that is before the major melts! In these trying environmental times it is good to know that there are some high points, too. When all that snow finally does melt it will give way to an epic river season so if you are a white water enthusiast I suggest you dig out your kayak, raft, canoe or arm floaties.

Now that I am done advertising for adventure sports I got some other interesting news. After much consideration I have decided to move back to the city. As much as I love the small town atmosphere and all the friends I have met, it doesn’t compare to home in Phoenix. I have all my best friends and family there, so the decision was not as hard as you might think. I know I will come back to Colorado eventually, maybe on vacation or maybe to live, but I will. I will definitely miss the boat, though.

I’ve started the job search all over again, and I cannot possibly explain to someone who has not done it how absolutely exhausting it is. Writing and rewriting cover letters, tweaking resumes and adding references is just so not what I want to be doing with my free time. Maybe I should be like Suzie and take up dancing…but seeing as I am not terribly coordinated that doesn’t seem like a viable route. I refuse to move back to Phoenix with my sole job being a restaurant job: I went to college for a goddamn reason. That being said, I have officially given myself an exit date of the end of May, and I figure it is somewhat sensible. Here’s the general idea behind it:

1. By the end of May, working my current job, I will be able to put away anywhere from 3000-4000 bones. It doesn’t hurt that I will get three pay periods in may :)
2. By starting the job search now, there is a very real possibility I will have a job by then and therefore not lose any money.
3. My lease is up at the end of this month but I can extend it for one month to provide for relocation time.
4. I will get my security deposit and a nice fatty check from Sr. Bush because he fucked our economy so bad that I need to look for a job two months in advance, totaling about another grand or so.
5. By either having a new job or about 5000 to sit on, should provide me with enough of a cushion to get started in Phoenix.
6. I found a really kick ass 4 bedroom house (with 4 prospective roommates) with a pool and a bar that is right near the bars in Tempe, BONUS! Plus it allows pets so I can finally get my damn dog that I think I will name either Rondo or Jazz (please feel free to weigh in here).

Sound like good arguments? Maybe. I’ve convinced myself and that’s all that really matters. I just hope it all works out like I want it to, but if I am to save all that money it means I will have to go on my Spartan diet once more. Lots of sandwiches, raison-bran and protein shakes. My only luxury for the next two months will be 6-pack tall boys of PBR, priced fairly at $3.89.

P.S. tonight’s my last night at the bar, so I will have my evenings back to enjoy aforementioned PBR by the river during sunset in a camping chair with maybe a cigarette or two. Hell, I might even fish even though I hate to.