Last night I am at the bar, nothing unusual, working…also not unusual. What is unusual is the drop off of business, but that can be attributed to the lack of tourists. We officially enter mud season in a week. Mud season is the off period between winter and summer, what normal people call spring, when all the snow melts and we have seasonal mud. I say seasonal because it lasts for the duration of spring until summer temperatures rise high enough to dry that nastiness up a bit. My white shoes are looking forward to that one.

Anyway, so living in a small town I have become accustomed to a certain quietness that comes with living in a town of 10,000. As a general rule of thumb people here do not use their car horns. VISITORS TAKE NOTE! WE DO NOT USE OUR CAR HORNS HERE! That being said I would like to direct this post to the asshole who used his at me last night.

As I just mentioned, you are an asshole. Horns are to be used to alert another driver of a potential accident to gain another’s attention. They are not, I repeat, NOT, to be used when to are too impatient to wait 30 seconds while I offer a friend who is leaving the bar a ride home when it is snowing heavily. I understand that your giant ass truck that enjoys strangling our planet has important things to do like spirit you away to the nearest convenience store where you can refill you 120 oz. Mega soda jug. Just chill. All it takes is a second to confirm my friends need a ride, another 20 for them to enter the vehicle and properly fasten their seatbelts, and maybe another 5 on top of that to get moving again.

During this time I do not expect you to get so irked by my friendship that you drive around my car in near whiteout conditions. When I merge back into the lane all of a sudden there is your Texas toast truck. Then I hear the horn again. This time I smile and cut you off because I know you will stop and if you don’t I have the right of way so fuck it. Much to my displeasure you try and pass me on the round about but when you try to speed up in 4 inches of snow your tires slide out. Nice job you fucking moron. Sometimes I wonder where people like you come from but then I remember that everything is bigger in Texas, except your patience.
I have been pushed to my limit this year on my distaste for Texas and last night may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. Why don’t people just have a little patience in this world? I know that almost everything is instantaneous but would it kill someone to wait as a courtesy to another while they help another? It shouldn’t. And if it does, your parents failed you.