I am currently in a two hour meeting. Please order one gun, one bullet and deliver it to my table, compliments of my employers. I'll be in the bathroom figuring out how best to self inflict a non-lethal wound with above ordered gun. Thank you
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
I like being able to write my musings whenever I like, this is going to be good for this ol' blog. This blog can now be much more "real time", not in the Bill Maher way, but in the literal "this is what I am currently doing". I know people want to know what I am doing and thinking at all times because let's face it, who doesn't?
It saddens me that I have not done a better job of recording my life. I'm actually envious to see the rewards others have given themselves by keeping up with their writing. In some ways I think writing is so much more definitive a captured moment in time versus a photo. A photo only shows you what is happening at an exact moment without much context. When you write something it gives you insight to how your mind was working and what you were thinking at that point in time. I think this serves as better reinforcement than a photo. But hey, photos are pretty swell too.
Last night work was pretty good. Any day I walk out of there with more than $100 I count that as a pretty good night. It's funny because on all accounts I should loathe my job as a backserver, but I don't. I work with my ex's boyfriend, I get paid fairly poorly and work harder than most people there and yet I still have a smile every night for some reason I do not know. I do like the respect and recognition I get for doing my job well, but that's hardly my focus. I find my job easy thus it is easy to excel. I'm being moved up next week to a full fledged server which means I'll have to prove myself all over again but that shouldn't be too hard. Most servers don't have too much going for them and I'd like to consider myself the exception to the rule but then I have to rationalize that everyone probably thinks they are the exception to some rule.
I promised myself I would never go back to the world of serving but plans change. Years ago I was graduating college, had a steady job lined up and a steady girlfriend. Fast forward three years and I still have a steady job (x2) but everything else in my life seems upside down from where it was. In my case change isn't something bad, it's something I've always sought. On the cusp of change again, I have every intention of leaving Arizona come the end of October. All signs point to Colorado, but I think I'd be happy just about anywhere, provided it is not a city with no culture and hellish summers.
For now, AZ ain't bad. I'm just going to shift life into neutral for a few months and just enjoy the rest of my time here. Both my jobs are means to an end, an end I cannot wait to start. That is me being poetic and failing. This is picture is not me failing:
Just kidding. That dude totally fails. I shared a plane with him back to Phoenix. Ick.
It saddens me that I have not done a better job of recording my life. I'm actually envious to see the rewards others have given themselves by keeping up with their writing. In some ways I think writing is so much more definitive a captured moment in time versus a photo. A photo only shows you what is happening at an exact moment without much context. When you write something it gives you insight to how your mind was working and what you were thinking at that point in time. I think this serves as better reinforcement than a photo. But hey, photos are pretty swell too.
Last night work was pretty good. Any day I walk out of there with more than $100 I count that as a pretty good night. It's funny because on all accounts I should loathe my job as a backserver, but I don't. I work with my ex's boyfriend, I get paid fairly poorly and work harder than most people there and yet I still have a smile every night for some reason I do not know. I do like the respect and recognition I get for doing my job well, but that's hardly my focus. I find my job easy thus it is easy to excel. I'm being moved up next week to a full fledged server which means I'll have to prove myself all over again but that shouldn't be too hard. Most servers don't have too much going for them and I'd like to consider myself the exception to the rule but then I have to rationalize that everyone probably thinks they are the exception to some rule.
I promised myself I would never go back to the world of serving but plans change. Years ago I was graduating college, had a steady job lined up and a steady girlfriend. Fast forward three years and I still have a steady job (x2) but everything else in my life seems upside down from where it was. In my case change isn't something bad, it's something I've always sought. On the cusp of change again, I have every intention of leaving Arizona come the end of October. All signs point to Colorado, but I think I'd be happy just about anywhere, provided it is not a city with no culture and hellish summers.
For now, AZ ain't bad. I'm just going to shift life into neutral for a few months and just enjoy the rest of my time here. Both my jobs are means to an end, an end I cannot wait to start. That is me being poetic and failing. This is picture is not me failing:
Just kidding. That dude totally fails. I shared a plane with him back to Phoenix. Ick.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
I forgot how much fun having a modern computer is. I have been using an old frankensteined computer that I assembled from various other computers that were deemed obsolete for the last year or so and just forgot about the internet and computering and all the charm therein.
NO LONGER FRIENDS. I have been trusting my impulses/gut all year (not saying too much since it is only a month into 2010) and went out and bought myself a trusty laptop. It's about damn time I had something that I could actually use and accomplish the things that I wanted to. I look at my lack of invovement with technology over the last year as a relationship that is the direct result of me having a defunct computer. Now that I have something reliable I hope that I am taking more pictures, documenting the adventures I will be partaking in over the next few months and just generally getting more digital satisfaction as a whole.
This is just one goal in a big list for 2010 but I am making huge strides so far. The biggest one is moving to Denver towards the end of this year. As dumb as it sounds, havingthis laptop actually brings me a step closer, I think...
I have given up all my worries and preoccupations that plagued me in 2009. I've made peace with my actions and demons and am looking forward to the future. Everything seems brighter in life when you have a direction. I guess it helps when you think everything is grand. It's hard not to smile to myself when I think of all the good things in my life. Every choice I made has brought me to this point and for better or worse I can confidently stand behind all the choices I made. Time is a great ally. So are beautiful Brazilian women.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Departing 6:25 PM
Being able to write on the move is great. There's no better descriptor that I can really think of.
I'm on the plane headed back to Phoenix from Park City. It's sad to be leaving but good to be coming home. Sleeping in my own bed sans Tim is just one of the simple luxuries you can't really price. I always tend to be reflective on airplanes, usually because I am next to a stranger and if that stranger is not a cute girl, I seldom talk to that stranger. This flight, however, I find myself sitting next to two of my best friends, Alecia and Tim. We're all kind of doing our own thing right now; Alecia is playing solitaire and Tim is jamming to music. I am writing this. I guess when you've been friends as long as we have there is a certain tolerance for air in a conversation.
In a personal relationship I don't want there to be many pauses in conversation or have to think about what to say next. I've been fortunate enough in my life to have been involved with several girls where this was the case. For one various reason or another things eventually came to an end but each time I learned more about myself and what I am looking for. I used to feel the pressure of getting married and having kids and a mortgage and all the other adulty things that traditional western thought deems necessary. While I subscribe to this belief, I want it to be on my own timeline, not a predetermined one.
There are several different types of people in this world, but I like to generalize them into two different groups: those who are defined by relationships and those that are not. Certainly there is overlap and again I am generalizing but I find myself in the latter.
I guess it takes a certain amount of courage to be single, to try new things and not settle for something that may not be exactly what you are looking for. Now, granted I'm only 25, but I've experienced enough to know a little bit of what I speak. Even reading it over as i write this it doesn't make sense to me and I want to delete it and start over but if I'm writing it down it must be important.
I've often wondered about everything I've written, both digital and paper, and whether or not the things I erased meant something. I'm making a concerned effort to not erase what I write. The pro is that I will have a better record of my thoughts. The con is that I will have scattered, poorly organized writings. Oh well.
It's hard to say why I felt the urge to write just now. I think my line of thought was: friends are focused on electronics, should be too. Good opportunity to write, talk about writing. Remembered this was the only time in the history of my flights that I have had a hot flight attendant. I think about women a lot, I should write about relationships. I want to erase what I just wrote but won't. Defend why I won't erase what I just wrote. Explain thought process.
This should equal a successful entry, right? I think so. Plane is descending as I write this sentence. As much crap as I give Phoenix and my continual desire to leave; home is home and I'm glad to be back. Work, relationships, responsibilities, all of it is just about 80 miles away and 30,000 feet below me.
I'm on the plane headed back to Phoenix from Park City. It's sad to be leaving but good to be coming home. Sleeping in my own bed sans Tim is just one of the simple luxuries you can't really price. I always tend to be reflective on airplanes, usually because I am next to a stranger and if that stranger is not a cute girl, I seldom talk to that stranger. This flight, however, I find myself sitting next to two of my best friends, Alecia and Tim. We're all kind of doing our own thing right now; Alecia is playing solitaire and Tim is jamming to music. I am writing this. I guess when you've been friends as long as we have there is a certain tolerance for air in a conversation.
In a personal relationship I don't want there to be many pauses in conversation or have to think about what to say next. I've been fortunate enough in my life to have been involved with several girls where this was the case. For one various reason or another things eventually came to an end but each time I learned more about myself and what I am looking for. I used to feel the pressure of getting married and having kids and a mortgage and all the other adulty things that traditional western thought deems necessary. While I subscribe to this belief, I want it to be on my own timeline, not a predetermined one.
There are several different types of people in this world, but I like to generalize them into two different groups: those who are defined by relationships and those that are not. Certainly there is overlap and again I am generalizing but I find myself in the latter.
I guess it takes a certain amount of courage to be single, to try new things and not settle for something that may not be exactly what you are looking for. Now, granted I'm only 25, but I've experienced enough to know a little bit of what I speak. Even reading it over as i write this it doesn't make sense to me and I want to delete it and start over but if I'm writing it down it must be important.
I've often wondered about everything I've written, both digital and paper, and whether or not the things I erased meant something. I'm making a concerned effort to not erase what I write. The pro is that I will have a better record of my thoughts. The con is that I will have scattered, poorly organized writings. Oh well.
It's hard to say why I felt the urge to write just now. I think my line of thought was: friends are focused on electronics, should be too. Good opportunity to write, talk about writing. Remembered this was the only time in the history of my flights that I have had a hot flight attendant. I think about women a lot, I should write about relationships. I want to erase what I just wrote but won't. Defend why I won't erase what I just wrote. Explain thought process.
This should equal a successful entry, right? I think so. Plane is descending as I write this sentence. As much crap as I give Phoenix and my continual desire to leave; home is home and I'm glad to be back. Work, relationships, responsibilities, all of it is just about 80 miles away and 30,000 feet below me.
Location:Southwest flight 1608 to Phoenix
Monday, January 18, 2010
Bro boarding
Went riding in park city yesterday, managed to get my feet under me and also not destroy myself. Today, deer valley and skiing, I am not optimistic I will achieve the same results. More to come with pics, bro
Location:Park City, Utah
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
A torrid affair
A couple months back I made the ultimate sacrifice: I gave up my verizon contract and jumped ship to AT&T so I could have an iPhone. I sacrificed a wonderful network with great coverage for all the bells and whistles the iPhone offers. I equate it to cheating on your girlfriend with a really hot, attractive girl that you may not get another chance with. Yes, I'm shallow and a terrible person. I blame it on working at a chic restuarant in Scottsdale.
Seriously though, I can now blog from my iPhone!?! Everytime I think I am over my love affair with my iPhone, she finds a way to keep me coming back for more. I haven't treated her well in the past. I've had the misfortune of breaking the screen twice in about 6 months and both instances were remarkably similar. I was drunk to the point of blacking out at Casey Moores and being an ass.
One time I walked home in sandals roughly 3.7 miles at 2am and made it home to see my iPhone shattered when I woke up at 3pm. The other time I made out with an Irish chick and tried to lick a girls face; all on thanksgiving. I am the very essence of class.
I don't know if being able to blog from iPhone will be good or bad for her. I could see more breakage in her future, good thing I treat her like an abused wife who thinks she has done something to deserve all this suffering. I should name her...
Seriously though, I can now blog from my iPhone!?! Everytime I think I am over my love affair with my iPhone, she finds a way to keep me coming back for more. I haven't treated her well in the past. I've had the misfortune of breaking the screen twice in about 6 months and both instances were remarkably similar. I was drunk to the point of blacking out at Casey Moores and being an ass.
One time I walked home in sandals roughly 3.7 miles at 2am and made it home to see my iPhone shattered when I woke up at 3pm. The other time I made out with an Irish chick and tried to lick a girls face; all on thanksgiving. I am the very essence of class.
I don't know if being able to blog from iPhone will be good or bad for her. I could see more breakage in her future, good thing I treat her like an abused wife who thinks she has done something to deserve all this suffering. I should name her...
Location:Aetna office
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