The Ol' Cleveland Steamer

2010-11-01T23:58:00.001-07:00

I realize part of my problem with writing is continuing to do so in a blog that no longer fits my life. I can't keep writing in something that doesn't match what is going on in my life. As much as I wish I never left Steamboat Springs, I did. I'm going to need to start a new blog, something that is more reflective of where I am, not where I've been. The old blog will still be out there for reference and strolls down memory lane, but this should mark the end. To all the characters and memories, it's been real. Onto the next blog: "Tales of Adventure; starring me, Chuck!"

2010-10-20T00:01:00.001-07:00

I've finally got myself in a pattern when it comes to the gym again. It took longer than it should have for me to fall back into a routine and am now just beginning to see all that I lost. My core strength is going up, my stamina is increasing and to make sure I stick with it I have signed up for some long distance goals. In January I am going to run the PF Changs ½ marathon from downtown Phoenix to Tempe. It's all too not impressive 13 miles, but it will be the longest I have ever run for one period and I am pretty optimistic I can do it. Then in April I signed up for the warrior dash, a 3.5 mile run that has 12 obstacles (including jumping over fire and crawling under barbwire in mud). When you finish the warrior dash your reward is a beer and Viking helmet. The beer and the helmet was enough to get me to register.

To make sure I avoid injuries prior to the marathon and dash I went to a custom running shoe store to get fitted for a pair of shoes that would complement my running technique (or lack thereof). During this hour I learned that I put the majority of my weight on my left heel (56%) and that I have very high arches on my feet. When I run, my ankles bend inwards and push my legs out which results in pressure on my inside knees. I have been complaining of pain in my knees for the last year and I am really optimistic that these shoes and insoles will help alleviate that.

Granted the insoles and shoes set me back $200, there's proof in the pudding. I went to the gym today and just started running before lifting. I ran 3 miles no problem and when I finished the cool down my knees felt fine. It was such a relief to have ran that distance and not feel any pain. I even had the strength to do squats immediately after running. After the last few weeks of some fairly heavy drinking and poor eating I finally feel like things are coming together. As much as I write about the women in my life and how I feel towards them, I am making a conscious effort to just concentrate on me. There's a girl that I would like in my life and I cannot force her to be there so there's no sense in thinking about her more than I think of myself, so that's what I am doing one mile at a time. I feel better each day since I got back into the gym and since I've been pushing myself as hard as I have been I am seeing results. I'd write more but I got to put food on my table…stupid healthcare.

2010-10-18T00:07:00.001-07:00

I'm normally very very good at reading people. My first impression is usually the one that sticks. Six months ago I put in for a transfer from one restaurant to another. It the world of restaurants it was definitely a downgrade from where I was working previously but it was a change that had to be made, so I made it. When I first got there my immediate impression was that I had made a huge mistake. I looked around and I thought that I had reset and thrown away all the restaurant experience I had up until then and was starting over. The people who I was going to work with were nice enough, but no one seemed to be someone I would really want to know. There were cliques from day one. A few of the cute girls were all hanging together, apparently friends from school that all decided they needed more money and took up serving. I didn't think too much of any of them, except that I recall they all had poufy hair.

We all broke midway through the first day for dinner and all the groups of people went their own ways. I went to dinner with a group of four, one of whom I knew, and ate pretty quickly. We still had some time to kill so we went and grabbed some frozen yogurt. Outside of the yogurt place there was a table where some of the servers were all sitting and chatting. No one really knew anybody so we all went up and said hi. I'll never forget what happened next: This very cute blonde girl (one of the aforementioned poufy-haired girls) looked up and with a very sincere and genuine smile asked me if I knew who I looked like. I've heard it before but I played along and asked who. Then all the girls chimed in, "Chad Michael Murray". I've heard this before and I gave my typical response of, "Yea I've heard that, and I really hate it." I laughed as I said it because I wasn't serious but then the blonde girl smiled and said, "At least you don't look like a Mexican Ross from 'Friends'!" and pointed to my eventual friend, Ever. I legitimately laughed very hard at this because it is actually a very apt comparison.

That was my first, albeit brief, conversation with Katie. I'll admit that I thought the girl was very cute. I had actually heard from one of my previous managers that there was a girl named Katie who I would be working with who was "Megan Fox-hot". I didn't really know how to take that but this girl was definitely very pretty, but more intriguing than anything. She had a way of smiling when she turned her head that made it feel like she was thinking about you as she walked past. I noticed that right away. As the weeks went by I slowly became friends with Katie and her friend Lauren. Lauren was a pretty easy read. She was a young, cute girl who liked to party and was not all too concerned with much else. She was fun. One night when we were closing she blatantly asked me out of the blue "Do you like Katie?" I was completely taken aback by this question but tried not to show it. "What do you mean? Like if I like her? Yea I think she is really cool." Lauren's response was that she was asking about the bartender Katie, not server Katie (the blonde one). There was a sigh of relief from me, but also disappointment. I really wanted to think that Katie had put her friend up to asking me how I felt about her. It was at this moment that I first thought seriously about my feelings for Katie and that I must be starting to fall for her.

Of course when I think I might start falling for a girl I immediately begin to second guess myself. I rationalized that a girl like Katie wouldn't be into someone like me, that she had plenty of other guys that were interested or that she was already seeing someone. It was hard to get a read on her, so I focused my attention on Lauren. I wasn't falling for Lauren in any way, but I was bored and she was cute so I figured if I couldn't have Katie then I should at least have a good time. Lauren and I flirted back and forth and one night we both got drunk and ended up in the same bed the next morning. Katie had been there with Mike, not with him, but they were both partying with us and were some of the last people standing from the night before. When I came downstairs everyone already knew that I had been upstairs with Lauren. I laughed it off and went on my merry way. This continued on for about a week or so and then abruptly ended just as soon as they had begun. During this time I felt a little ashamed, ashamed that I had these thoughts and feelings towards Katie and ran off with her friend. I eventually learned that I was correct with my initial read on Lauren as some people who knew her from her hometown would confirm. I was happy to be done with it and move on. I started seeing a girl who was nice and funny and cute, but the sense of intrigue and romance wasn't there. I hoped it would develop but it never did.

A few more weeks went by and the summer was officially in full swing. That meant that everyone who was still in school could party just about every night and I would go out with them when I could. On one such night a girl Megan had some people over to her place and we all had some beers and some laughs. Katie was there, and we had been talking and flirting with one another the whole night. We went down to the pool to do some night swimming and the group we were with kind of broke up a little and I was left alone with Katie. In that moment I threw all the preconceptions, all my concerns and all my feelings and kissed Katie. I thought I was over her, I thought I was over my feelings but in one instant, with one kiss I knew I wasn't. To my amazement and my relief she kissed me back, and there was feeling behind it. I was drunk, but in that moment I was sober and wouldn't allow alcohol to cheapen what I was feeling. What happened next was a torrent of what I had been feeling. I told Katie everything that I was thinking, everything that I had thought, all at once. It probably didn't make a lot of sense to her but to me it was a relief to get it all out there.

She told me she felt similar, but that she wasn't sure how to feel because of things that had happened with Lauren and I. She said she was annoyed that I was apparently interested in Lauren. I explained to her that this wasn't the case and since it was the truth I believe Katie thought me to be sincere. We kissed a bit more and then slowly retreated back into Megan's place and fell asleep. Well I did, I think Katie and Megan stayed up. Time passed after that night and Katie and I continued to flirt and make fun of each other at work. Cute little text exchanges, funny conversations would follow. Katie had to go home and get surgery on her knee, and I found myself missing this girl immensely. Work, a place I had come to enjoy, wasn't the same knowing I wouldn't see her there: No matter how bad my day had been, or even how good, seeing her smile and give me a cute face just made my day better. The whole month she was gone I was constantly thinking about her and texting her. We had some really great conversations about how we had similar feelings, missed one another, and wanted to see where things would go.

When she came back it was an awesome day for me. I was so excited to see her that I couldn't think of exactly what to say. I just kind of stood there and smiled dumbly. I can't imagine it was the best impression to give her after a month absence, but it was too impossible not to do exactly that because it's how she makes me feel. My normal wit and charm and cynicism just melt away. She completely disarms me and I love it.

Since she's been back we went out on a date once and I didn't want it to end. We kissed afterwards and I genuinely felt like she enjoyed it as much as I did. Since that time I've really only seen her at work, but we still talk and flirt with one another. I don't want to push things with her but I also don't want to lose an opportunity with her. I really want to see where things go with this girl and I am hopeful she still does too. I told Ever that it feels like I always have a 50/50 chance with this girl, but that's part of her charm. We will see where things go with her, one day at a time. In the end, even if nothing more happens, the way she has made me feel and the way she has restored calm to my heart will be what I take away. I wasn't sure I could feel the same way about a girl again, but she's proof that I can. She inspires me to be better than I am and work at being a better person. So if nothing else, I owe Katie a thank you, and hopefully a kiss, too.

October 17th

2010-10-17T20:42:00.001-07:00

A little over a year ago I made a decision that impacted my whole life. I drunkenly broke up with the girl I thought I loved. After two years of a relationship that was better in theory than in practice, things were finally over. I didn’t want them to be after a few weeks of being alone and ran back to what was familiar but by then it was too late. The gravity of my decision began to sink in and for a very long time I think I was depressed. I didn’t know that I was depressed but I did act like I wasn’t; a state of denial really.

What really hurt was that the girl I used to be involved with ran right into the arms of someone she worked with. This happened within two months and whatever scar tissue had formed over my aching heart was cut anew: From there I sort of lost control of myself. On the outside I presented a calm and collected front, but on the inside I was raging. This hurricane eventually downgraded itself into a depression and from there a constant drizzle, but it was still there reminding me of what I had lost and constantly wondering if I would ever find that feeling again.

Then about a month and half ago I had an epiphany: The problem wasn’t her or what I had lost it was my attitude towards her, towards life. I was looking to cover up those feelings with alcohol and women and though it worked as a temporary heal, the wounds would always reopen when my muse was exhausted. Being an out of control borderline alcoholic sycophant has it perks, but the lifestyle is old and redundant. There’s more to life than aimlessly soul searching for something you already have.

So what have I learned on this journey of self-discovery and self-pity? I’ve learned that good friends are invaluable even when they are not there. I’ve learned that pain is temporary and its sole purpose is to remind us that we are still alive. I’ve learned that once you accept your mistakes for what they are you can move on. I’ve learned that negative emotions and thoughts are impossible to avoid but not impossible to overcome. I’ve learned that the girl I thought I loved didn’t love me. I’ve learned that I deserve more than a half committed relationship despite the mistakes I’ve made in my past. I’ve learned that some people find love sooner than others. I’ve learned that experience coupled with opportunity can present itself in ways you can’t see if you don’t have the right attitude.

2010-03-04T14:00:00.001-08:00

I am currently in a two hour meeting. Please order one gun, one bullet and deliver it to my table, compliments of my employers. I'll be in the bathroom figuring out how best to self inflict a non-lethal wound with above ordered gun. Thank you

2010-02-13T12:39:00.001-08:00

February in AZ is hard to beat. I will miss this the most when I leave, outside of the people, duh.

Also, there is a hopeful pro athlete packing heat at the pool. I'll miss AZs gun laws too.

2010-02-08T22:03:00.000-08:00

I like being able to write my musings whenever I like, this is going to be good for this ol' blog. This blog can now be much more "real time", not in the Bill Maher way, but in the literal "this is what I am currently doing". I know people want to know what I am doing and thinking at all times because let's face it, who doesn't?

It saddens me that I have not done a better job of recording my life. I'm actually envious to see the rewards others have given themselves by keeping up with their writing. In some ways I think writing is so much more definitive a captured moment in time versus a photo. A photo only shows you what is happening at an exact moment without much context. When you write something it gives you insight to how your mind was working and what you were thinking at that point in time. I think this serves as better reinforcement than a photo. But hey, photos are pretty swell too.

Last night work was pretty good. Any day I walk out of there with more than $100 I count that as a pretty good night. It's funny because on all accounts I should loathe my job as a backserver, but I don't. I work with my ex's boyfriend, I get paid fairly poorly and work harder than most people there and yet I still have a smile every night for some reason I do not know. I do like the respect and recognition I get for doing my job well, but that's hardly my focus. I find my job easy thus it is easy to excel. I'm being moved up next week to a full fledged server which means I'll have to prove myself all over again but that shouldn't be too hard. Most servers don't have too much going for them and I'd like to consider myself the exception to the rule but then I have to rationalize that everyone probably thinks they are the exception to some rule.

I promised myself I would never go back to the world of serving but plans change. Years ago I was graduating college, had a steady job lined up and a steady girlfriend. Fast forward three years and I still have a steady job (x2) but everything else in my life seems upside down from where it was. In my case change isn't something bad, it's something I've always sought. On the cusp of change again, I have every intention of leaving Arizona come the end of October. All signs point to Colorado, but I think I'd be happy just about anywhere, provided it is not a city with no culture and hellish summers.

For now, AZ ain't bad. I'm just going to shift life into neutral for a few months and just enjoy the rest of my time here. Both my jobs are means to an end, an end I cannot wait to start. That is me being poetic and failing. This is picture is not me failing:

Just kidding. That dude totally fails. I shared a plane with him back to Phoenix. Ick.

2010-01-31T22:43:00.000-08:00

I forgot how much fun having a modern computer is. I have been using an old frankensteined computer that I assembled from various other computers that were deemed obsolete for the last year or so and just forgot about the internet and computering and all the charm therein.

NO LONGER FRIENDS. I have been trusting my impulses/gut all year (not saying too much since it is only a month into 2010) and went out and bought myself a trusty laptop. It's about damn time I had something that I could actually use and accomplish the things that I wanted to. I look at my lack of invovement with technology over the last year as a relationship that is the direct result of me having a defunct computer. Now that I have something reliable I hope that I am taking more pictures, documenting the adventures I will be partaking in over the next few months and just generally getting more digital satisfaction as a whole.

This is just one goal in a big list for 2010 but I am making huge strides so far. The biggest one is moving to Denver towards the end of this year. As dumb as it sounds, havingthis laptop actually brings me a step closer, I think...

I have given up all my worries and preoccupations that plagued me in 2009. I've made peace with my actions and demons and am looking forward to the future. Everything seems brighter in life when you have a direction. I guess it helps when you think everything is grand. It's hard not to smile to myself when I think of all the good things in my life. Every choice I made has brought me to this point and for better or worse I can confidently stand behind all the choices I made. Time is a great ally. So are beautiful Brazilian women.

Departing 6:25 PM

2010-01-23T18:46:00.001-08:00

Being able to write on the move is great. There's no better descriptor that I can really think of.

I'm on the plane headed back to Phoenix from Park City. It's sad to be leaving but good to be coming home. Sleeping in my own bed sans Tim is just one of the simple luxuries you can't really price. I always tend to be reflective on airplanes, usually because I am next to a stranger and if that stranger is not a cute girl, I seldom talk to that stranger. This flight, however, I find myself sitting next to two of my best friends, Alecia and Tim. We're all kind of doing our own thing right now; Alecia is playing solitaire and Tim is jamming to music. I am writing this. I guess when you've been friends as long as we have there is a certain tolerance for air in a conversation.

In a personal relationship I don't want there to be many pauses in conversation or have to think about what to say next. I've been fortunate enough in my life to have been involved with several girls where this was the case. For one various reason or another things eventually came to an end but each time I learned more about myself and what I am looking for. I used to feel the pressure of getting married and having kids and a mortgage and all the other adulty things that traditional western thought deems necessary. While I subscribe to this belief, I want it to be on my own timeline, not a predetermined one.

There are several different types of people in this world, but I like to generalize them into two different groups: those who are defined by relationships and those that are not. Certainly there is overlap and again I am generalizing but I find myself in the latter.

I guess it takes a certain amount of courage to be single, to try new things and not settle for something that may not be exactly what you are looking for. Now, granted I'm only 25, but I've experienced enough to know a little bit of what I speak. Even reading it over as i write this it doesn't make sense to me and I want to delete it and start over but if I'm writing it down it must be important.

I've often wondered about everything I've written, both digital and paper, and whether or not the things I erased meant something. I'm making a concerned effort to not erase what I write. The pro is that I will have a better record of my thoughts. The con is that I will have scattered, poorly organized writings. Oh well.

It's hard to say why I felt the urge to write just now. I think my line of thought was: friends are focused on electronics, should be too. Good opportunity to write, talk about writing. Remembered this was the only time in the history of my flights that I have had a hot flight attendant. I think about women a lot, I should write about relationships. I want to erase what I just wrote but won't. Defend why I won't erase what I just wrote. Explain thought process.

This should equal a successful entry, right? I think so. Plane is descending as I write this sentence. As much crap as I give Phoenix and my continual desire to leave; home is home and I'm glad to be back. Work, relationships, responsibilities, all of it is just about 80 miles away and 30,000 feet below me.

Location:Southwest flight 1608 to Phoenix

Bro boarding

2010-01-18T09:09:00.001-08:00

Went riding in park city yesterday, managed to get my feet under me and also not destroy myself. Today, deer valley and skiing, I am not optimistic I will achieve the same results. More to come with pics, bro

Location:Park City, Utah

A torrid affair

2010-01-12T08:58:00.001-08:00

A couple months back I made the ultimate sacrifice: I gave up my verizon contract and jumped ship to AT&T so I could have an iPhone. I sacrificed a wonderful network with great coverage for all the bells and whistles the iPhone offers. I equate it to cheating on your girlfriend with a really hot, attractive girl that you may not get another chance with. Yes, I'm shallow and a terrible person. I blame it on working at a chic restuarant in Scottsdale.

Seriously though, I can now blog from my iPhone!?! Everytime I think I am over my love affair with my iPhone, she finds a way to keep me coming back for more. I haven't treated her well in the past. I've had the misfortune of breaking the screen twice in about 6 months and both instances were remarkably similar. I was drunk to the point of blacking out at Casey Moores and being an ass.

One time I walked home in sandals roughly 3.7 miles at 2am and made it home to see my iPhone shattered when I woke up at 3pm. The other time I made out with an Irish chick and tried to lick a girls face; all on thanksgiving. I am the very essence of class.

I don't know if being able to blog from iPhone will be good or bad for her. I could see more breakage in her future, good thing I treat her like an abused wife who thinks she has done something to deserve all this suffering. I should name her...

Location:Aetna office

January 5th, 2010

2010-01-12T08:38:00.001-08:00

I only made two New Year resolutions this year, which is exactly two more than I made last year. Judging by the way 2009 came and went, I probably should have made at least one: The year probably would have been less tumultuous for me had I bothered. Oh well, live and learn.

The first resolution I made, which I think will be exceedingly difficult, is to find the positive in any negative situation that happens to me in 2010. So, if I lose my job I suddenly have more free time to pursue other leisure activities. Should my car die, I now have an excuse to ride my bicycle more than I do (which is never because it has been at my friend Taryn’s house since March of 2009). I do not anticipate this being terribly hard right now, but over time, say July or something; I may just end up struggling to find a positive.

The second resolution would be to write more. Easy to say, easy to pen to paper, but actually quite hard to actually practice. I had a good streak going back in 2007-2008, but that eventually became like every other shuttered blog I have attempted to maintain that now litters the internet. Two things are going to be different this time. First, I am going to keep writing in the same blog. Second, I am going to will myself to write. Even if it is just a sentence or two, or maybe even a funny picture, anything that documents what I have been up or what I am thinking. I have discovered that I need an outlet, a way to communicate with anyone who will listen to all my gripes, quips and nonsense. Should I plan to avoid going insane in the distant future, I will need record of my musings. This may not prevent me from losing my mind, but it will give others a path to follow and understand should I eventually lose my grip on reality.

One of the unexpected benefits of constant writing is an enhancement in speaking ability. I do not mean rhetoric; I mean the simple of act of speaking better than I currently do. I have a bad habit, which is supremely disappointing to me, of swearing when I choose to relax with leisure substances (read alcohol). I am not against swearing, but I know I need to do a better job of utilizing speech that reflects my own intelligence and with focused purpose. Saying eff this and eff that is not effective communication. Using adjectives such as sick and awesome do not do moments justice, those words sour them.

Awesome is by and far my favorite word, but I may need to reduce its use in my vernacular. I would like to avoid trying to use overly complicated and flowery language masked with metaphors as well. I am not good at poetry; a fact I learned at about 4th grade. By that time I was acutely aware of my inability to string words together in rhythmic fashion. I could write poems that worked for the assignment that I was given and nothing more. I will never “wow” anyone with my sonnets. Sorry.

It’s not fair to just jump into my writing again as though I was never gone. I’ll update on my life today, so that when I do reflect on the year that has passed, characters and plotlines make sense. This isn’t a promise.

Location:The desk I spend 40 hours a week at, sigh

2008-07-20T13:32:00.000-07:00

Sorry, it has been FARRR too long. I would like to lie and say that I have been exceptionally busy, but that ain't the case. A lot has changed since my last post though.

For starters I am back in Phoenix with all my friends and family, so that's boss. I am living with my parents currently, which is not so boss, but I will be outta here in no more than a month, if things work the way I want them to. Read sick house with friends and booze.

My girlfriend is in central America, has been since the 7^th of July and won't be back until the end of August, so that's a bummer. Alecia is in South America and won't be back until the end of October I think, another bummer. The harsh reality of not being able to take all these fun trips already settled and passed.

The tricky part right now is to occupy my time, which I am finding I have much too much of these days. That is because I do not start my new job until Monday, my birthday. What better way to celebrate turning 24 then by going to work in an office for orientation! All jokes aside, I am actually looking forward to having a purpose to my day instead of just resisting the urge to daydrink.

One thing I have done that I am quite pleased with is re-joining a gym. It's awesome to feel exhausted again, and not just from snowboarding. Going back to the gym means going back to old habits, protein shakes, eggs, and chicken. Arrange them in any order for any day and basically you have what I have been eating the last several weeks. My body is slowly starting to wake out of its slumber and return to activity. The irony being that I moved to Colorado with an intention of being more active and was not. The only thing I really don't miss about the gym is the lactic acid that builds up. It's what makes ya sore after getting extreme, as Trevor and I like to call it.

There's something great about being able to pick up and just go to the gym and work out frustrations physically. As soothing as writing is, and as effective a tool as it can be towards the same goal, I guess I just forgot how much physical activity outside of sports used to be in my life. I am really looking forward to getting back into that habit.

As Monday approaches I really find myself more and more optimistic. My friends joke that I have a generally pessimistic attitude towards everything, but that is veiled by my actual optimism and enjoyment of life. Pessimism is a device in which to exploit the comedy of life as I see it. I think about my life in September and I can honestly say that I am thrilled. I'll be in a house surrounded by friends, working a job that I can potentially make into a career, paying off my debts, back in physical shape and my wonderful girlfriend will be home. The only downer that I can see in there is that she is starting med school so that could put a strain on our relationship, which has been tested as of late.

This blog does not exist for me to rant about my relationship. Those privy to such gossip do not need to read it on here. After a long 3 weeks of doing nothing, feeling sorry for myself at points and heavy drinking, I think I have successfully pulled my own head out of my ass and come to the realization that I am idiot for thinking that in the first place. Plus, I finally have a stream of new music on my ipod now that I have my computer back. That means plenty of new hip/hop, girltalk, and anything else I feel like kicking it to, so hah! Off to the gym to go get extreme, happy Sunday ya'll!

2008-07-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

hmm... so I wrote this whole nice post and cannot figure out how to make this work on Mac, stupid my lack of knowledge. I suppose I will have to learn how to make decent posts on a Mac and not fudge them all up, but no promises. I'll post it in a bit, sadly I am going to have to email it to myself and then post it via PC. Laugh it up cool kids that know how to use Macs. Sure, you look stylish and concerned about the environment (the latter I am not sure why, my perception), but I have Vista...sigh

2008-06-18T15:51:00.000-07:00

Ordered myself a long board last night off whiskeymilita because why not? It was like 70 bucks for next day air so I opted for that and should be struggling with hills by tomorrow’s eve. This is going to be quite the feat since I do not know how to really skateboard. I figure that is just details and since long boarding is different in mechanics, I should fare decently since I excel at most other board sports. Skim, Surf, Snow, and now the final frontier, Asphalt/Concrete.

I’m going to try really hard to continue my “don’t use my car attitude” in Phoenix, but Phoenix ain’t the same as Steamboat. I can get anywhere in Steamboat in about 30 minutes walking, 10 if I got a bike. As a side note I expect it to be about 30 minutes on a long board until I get that down. Point being, Steamboat is smallsville. Phoenix ain’t so small. And the temps are not as forgiving as Colorado. The flipside is that I have a bike in Phoenix and many friends, so the problem should work itself out. Maybe. Oh, and my friend’s mom is going to try and get me a job right in the area where my roommates and I are looking for a home.

I can also further reduce driving by having a home suitable for entertaining. This necessitates the following criteria:

*Tiled Floors
*Open and spacious floor plans
*Pool
*Yard, both front and back
*Dog, yellow or silver lab
*Proximity to park
*No old and crotchety neighbors
*Proximity to bars
*Space for poker games (read table)
*Kegerator and bar set up

Looking over the criteria, I could probably forget the pool but would not compromise on a yard. First off, dogs need yard space to do dog things like fetch, and dig, and poo. Second, Trevor and I have already expressed our desire for a horseshoe pit. Third, you cannot play bocce ball without grass. Fourth, lawn chairs in rocks would not work and look stupid. If they did they would be called rock chairs. See how dumb that sounds? Fifth and most important, grass is hip.

All these will contribute to people coming to me, and not the other way around, thereby eliminating both my excess driving and potential and costly DUIs. Not that I would drive under the influence, but I don’t always make the best decisions when I am buzzed: College serves as GIANT, 5-year example.

Tonight, I plan on bumping some Lil’Wayne and sitting by the river until the sun goes down. After which I will watch the Real World because I know the new girl. I had to be reminded that I knew her, so it’s not that important, but I am curious to know how MTV weaves her story. Not that I have anything to compare it to. I used to be very good at not watching MTV, but then somehow shows like the Real World, Tila Tequila and the Paper reeled me back in. Sad, I know. I watch those shows for the sheer depravity of their characters. MTV has certainly mastered the art of finding and exploiting bros and hos.

2008-06-17T20:21:00.000-07:00

I had a great little blog entry that I was working on, but it got a little too sciency, so I sent it to the draft table to revisit. I am pretty sure only Suzie would appreciate it. Let me just say that you and I Suzie, as cool as we may seem, are total nerds at heart because we both get excited about science. For me, outer space gets me hard.

Having said that let me digress. I am slowly become an environmentalist. I wish I could say that it was not the severity of the times that opened my eyes, but it probably was. I wince when I hear terms like carbon footprint because it just seems too preachy, but I think I have made huge steps towards reducing my own. I haven’t used my car in over a week. It is sitting idle in my parking lot. I have been using reusable bags at the grocery store. I have been making an effort to recycle all my beer cans. And you know what? It feels really good. It’s nice to feel like part of a simple solution. I could be the variable in the following equation: 2 + X = 4. Figure it out. If you can’t, replace X with 2.

Sorry for the analogy, but honestly it just seems that simple. It is the little things that people are just unwilling to do because they are lazy. I was like that for a very long time, but I think living in Colorado has taught me to really appreciate nature and our planet . Everyone here just enjoys the outdoors. Nay, they relish being outside. There is this connection that is almost primeval that brings people back to their roots. Humans did not start out in air conditioned houses in the middle of summer. They could not simply walk to a store to get food or flip a switch to get light. At the end of the day I think humans are missing that connection to nature more than they (I) will admit.

I’m about 7 beers deep so I apologize for this entry. It makes sense in my head but it may seem like stupid rambling .

2008-06-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

I started running again, finally. It took me awhile to find the right day, the right frame of mind. I have been telling myself for maybe the last 3 or 4 weeks that I should really start running again. Not because I am fat, not because I feel like I am getting fat, but because of how it makes me feel. It’s good to get out and just run and work through all the thoughts in your head, not that I have any at the moment. If I did though, it would be soothing.

I didn’t call my dad on father’s day and I can’t really figure out why. I thought about it, thought about if he deserved it, and wondered if he would even notice. I’m guessing no, but he is the only person that would really no. This may seem harsh, but I base this by his only form of communication, which is text messaging. Sporadically, maybe once or twice a month I get a text from him, in horribly annoying little kid AIM English. I am going to copyright that term, by the way. It irks me because I go to great lengths to make sure I do not include any of those stupid shortcuts in my texts. An example of our conversation would read:

How R U?
-I am doing well, how are you?
Good 2 hear. Im good.
-Well that is good, how’s Texas?
Good. Wanted 2 say hi.
-Hi
Luv & miss u. TTYL
-Miss you too, Dad…

Pretty sad huh? That is an actual conversation, might I add. It took place last Thursday, maybe in an attempt to goad me into a Father’s day something? I won’t take away from him that he’s my father, but he really has been absent in my life since I was 13, and it was by his choice so I don’t feel too sorry for him and neither should you. Besides, 11 years later I think I turned out pretty okay. I was reading PostSecret as I always do on Mondays; this morning it was a tribute (if one can call it that) to father’s day. I probably would have picked a more uplifting topic to write about had I not read that. Anyways, it made me realize that I could have had it a lot worse, a lot. Some dads are pretty shitty it turns out. I guess one of my fears is turning out to be a shitty father one day. It’s fun to joke about now, but in another ten years it may not be. Seems easy enough to avoid.

Oh, and on a related note, the Lakers game last night. Did you watch? Did you see the halftime report that had a special on Bill and Luke Walton? The father who accomplished way more than his son? They were interviewing them on their feelings about being a father/son championship duo and one word sums it up: FORCED. I have not seen Luke Walton act more out of place than that interview. The kicker was that Bill Walton was smiling and saying really sentimental things to him and they bounced off Luke like a fat kid on a trampoline. Thank you NBA, ABC, and the Walton Family for reinforcing what I already know: Father son relationships are always awkward no matter who you are.

2008-06-05T10:39:00.001-07:00

The first time I had coffee it was one of those frappachino drinks that come in the 4-packs you buy in the supermarket. French Vanilla, I think. I took it from the fridge because I thought it was chocolate milk. I opened, tried it, hated it, and threw it away. Later I would get in trouble because it was my mom’s and she was looking forward to it sometime later. Whoops.

I started to drink coffee maybe 4 years ago because it was the grown up thing to do. I was not one of those kids in college that would drink an entire pot of black coffee because they had to have it to study. I would have a normal-sized cup in the morning on my way to class, sometimes another in the afternoon if my first class was early. Over time my preferences towards coffee changed. Once repulsive without heaps of sugar and cream, I can now responsibly drink coffee with or without sugar. Cream is still in the mix, but I prefer milk, and not much. Actually, Krysten turned me on to soymilk in my coffee, so that makes my heart, and me happy.

I think one of the things I like most about coffee has little to do with coffee. Whenever I drink coffee I get the sense that things slow down, things become simpler and I feel more relaxed. I equate this feeling to the association I have with coffee being a grown-up drink. Something philosophical is at play when I have that first sip. Maybe the aroma triggers my inner-philosopher. Do I have amazing thoughts when I drink coffee, no. Could I have amazingly deep thoughts if I continue to drink coffee, probably not. Do I think I could, yes. It’s a similar process when I drink alcohol, only with better results. Tony hinted around this subject and it got me to thinking why coffee has become such a social phenomena.

Coffee, for whatever, seems to have a reflexive nature about it. The mirror inside is discovered and unlike alcohol, the conversations you have can meaningful and remembered. But yes, your breath does suck after drinking coffee. The scientist in me would call this an inverse relationship, maybe even a cause and effect relationship. Could I draw a statistical correlation highlighting the proportion of amount of conversation as it relates to the amount of coffee drank, yes. Will I? No, because the only reason I passed statistics was because I planted myself in a group of all Asian students with no public speaking ability. I presented, they crunched numbers. The scientist in me would call this a parasitic relationship; the optimist in me would call it a symbiotic relationship. The me inside me apologizes for this entry.

2008-06-04T16:14:00.000-07:00

I just found out that the Phoenix Suns have a supposed Jinx on them. Phoenix was created as an expansion team during the late 60’s, 1968 to be exact. That’s a 40-year history with no championships. Not a big deal when compared to say the Cubbies or the Red Sox, but when put in basketball perspective that is pretty darn lean. Under the microscope, Phoenix has had 17 50-win season, 3 60-win seasons and even made it to the playoffs in 27 seasons. Phoenix went as far as to make it to the finals twice, once in 1976, the other in 1993. Both had the same end result: Heartbreak.

The casual observer would think that with all that success there should be a championship or two littered in those 40 years. Nope. As it turns out, Phoenix has had a curse on them since the very beginning, starting in 1969. Phoenix finished its first year of play in the NBA with a league-worst 16-66 game season. Milwaukee finished second with 27-55 season. A coin flip was used to decide who got the first draft pick for the upcoming season. The curse started the moment Phoenix lost their potential first draft pick to the Milwaukee Bucks. Milwaukee in the first round, with the first pick, selected one Lew Alcindor; better known to you and I as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Yep, the same man with the legendary skyhook and one of the most dominant and consistent centers the game has ever seen.

Phoenix selected Neal Walk second in the draft. His claim to fame? Inducted into the Jewish Sports Hall of Fame. Since then, Suns fans have seen a series of bad luck; twists to a seemingly perfect season resulting in an untimely playoff exit. This became known as “the curse of the coin flip”. Original, I know. Couple Phoenix’s phenomenal bad luck with the fact that Phoenix has never had a dominant center and you arrive at a possible explanation for their playoff failures. Not convinced? Take a look at this and ask yourself why Phoenix fans consistently feel like they are getting the rub. Oh and by the way, Milwaukee, with the help of Kareem, would win a championship in 1971.

In the 1969-70 season, Phoenix qualified for the western conference playoffs, squared up against the Lakers. Phoenix cruised to a 3-1 series lead over the Lakers, and then proceeded to lose the next three games. Why? Suns center Jim Fox suffered an ankle injury and Wilt Chamberlain went bananas. Center.

The 1971 season brought a chance for redemption as Phoenix finished 9 games better than it had the previous season, with a 48-34 season. Unfortunately, the NBA decided to go to a divisional format and the top two qualifying teams in the Midwest division were not Phoenix; they were Milwaukee and Chicago. Had Phoenix been in the Pacific division at the time (where they are currently), their record would have tied for first place. Bad Luck.

1976 was the year the Suns recovered and marched all the way to the NBA finals to match up against the Boston Celtics. Phoenix, lacking a dominant center (sub 6’9”), could not square up against Boston’s big man (over 6’9”). Gosh, Kareem could have helped there, being 7’2”. Center.

In the 1977 season Phoenix was eliminated by Milwaukee in the first round of the playoffs. Coincidentally, the team that lucked out and got Kareem in the first place. It should be noted that by now Kareem was in L.A. Bad Luck.

The very last year of 70’s, Phoenix met up with L.A. in the playoffs and guess who was playing center. That’s right, Kareem himself. 1979 would prove to be the year that Kareem would go on to win his 6th MVP award. Think some no name center can match up against a 6-time MVP. Me neither. Center.

The Suns and Lakers would meet again during the Western Conference Finals in 1983, but Kareem was still there and still playing amazing ball. Phoenix continued to be haunted by the player they almost acquired. Center.

After a 3 year losing skid, Phoenix had reached the draft lottery, the NBA’s most current form of drafting selection protocol. Phoenix would eventually learn that it would receive one of the top two picks in the 1987 draft. Guess who got second place again? Yep, good ol’ Phoenix. This new draft debacle would start a new rivalry with the team that got the first draft pick in 1987. It was the San Antonio Spurs. Their selection? A center by the name of David Robinson. He would go on to win Rookie of the Year, 10-time all star center, and MVP among other accolades. Oh, and he won a championship with the Spurs. Bad Luck and Center.

In that same year, Phoenix’s prospect as a center, Nick Vanos, standing at 7’2”, perished in the Northwest Airlines flight 255 disaster, along with 153 others. Center.

Phoenix’s luck seemed as though it was changing in the upcoming seasons, advancing again to the Western conference finals in 1989. Kareem and the Lakers were waiting, and they were still better. Kareem would retire after that season with 6 championships under his belt. Phoenix had none. Center.

Phoenix finally bested the Lakers, post-Kareem, but blew both a game and series lead to the Portland Trailblazers in 1990. Bad Luck.

The next 2 years brought Phoenix consecutive 50-win seasons. It also brought two playoff exits, at the hands of the Utah Jazz, then again with the Blazers. Thankfully this was the period in the NBA I fondly remember as “when the entire Western conference took a beating by Michael and his Bulls”. No bad luck or center issues here, we wouldn’t have won.

Steve Kerr, who had his roots in Arizona (and is now coincidentally our GM), helped sink the Suns when they advanced to NBA finals in 1993. Charles Barkley won the MVP trophy that year but it didn’t matter, as the Suns would lose in 6, at home. Bad Luck.

In 1995 Suns player Danny Manning (standing at 6’11”) tore his ACL during practice. Sure could have used him to match up against Houston’s all-star center, Hakeem Olajuwon, who also went bananas on a shorter Phoenix team. Houston would earn their championship the following year. Center.

The Suns fell off the radar soon after this and flip-flopped a lot of their players, acquiring some big names, losing some big names. Nash, Kidd, Penny, Marbury all played for the Suns during this period and were all no more successful than their predecessors. Eventually Phoenix landed Amare Stoudemire, an eventual all-star who was paired with Shawn Mario and later Steve Nash. Phoenix brought in Coach Mike D’Antoni and re-wrote the way NBA basketball was played. Their new weapon was speed and transition basketball.

In 2005 the Suns met with their new rival, San Antonio, in the Western Conference finals. Phoenix would lose as a result of losing Joe Johnson, who was a major contributor and an outstanding perimeter player. Phoenix lost 2 games by a couple of points, points that would have easily been rained in by Joe. The lack of perimeter shooting and a center that could match Tim Duncan, lead to Phoenix being ousted. Bad Luck and Center.

In 2006, Amare Stoudemire was taken out of commission as he underwent micro-fracture surgery on his knee. That, coupled with the loss of Joe Johnson to the Hawks during the off season, proved too much for Phoenix to overcome and they fell in 6 games to the Mavericks, who they had on the ropes the entire time. The Mavericks would continue to finals and lose to the Heat, who Phoenix beat handily that season. Bad Luck.

2007 seemed like the straw that broke the camel’s back. All the Phoenix players were healthy; Amare was back and as fearsome as ever. Steve Nash had just won his 2nd consecutive MVP, and the lowly Golden State Warriors eliminated the best-record Dallas Mavericks in the first round. Phoenix had the best record remaining and was poised to make a run at the championship. But of course, fate intervened. It was Suns and Spurs in the semifinals with Phoenix hungry for revenge. The Spurs took an early series advantage but the rout in San Antonio in game 4 was proof that Phoenix could win in San Antonio. Frustrated, Spurs player Robert Horry (who played with the Suns) checked Steve Nash into the Scorer’s table. Immediately, Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw stood up from the sideline bench and stepped onto the court. Because of this, Amare and Boris would be suspended for one game, Horry for two. It was later discovered that Tim Duncan left the bench on a similar play earlier in that same game but was not suspended. Thank you David Stern. As if that wasn’t enough, Tim Donaghy, a referee who officiated some of the Suns & Spurs games was caught to have been gambling on the games he was calling. He admitted that fouls were called to alter the game and favor his bets. Those games were won by San Antonio. UNBELIEVABLE BAD LUCK.

All of which brings us to this year, 2008. A mid-season trade brought in a dominant center, Shaq, in exchange for Shawn Marion. Marion had recently come out in public about his dissatisfaction with the organization and was likely to walk by the end of the season, so Phoenix maneuvered a step behind L.A. who acquired a more agile center, Pau Gasol. Phoenix played San Antonio in the opening round and lost. L.A., with Gasol, will play Thursday in the NBA finals. Bad Luck.

Now you know what I know about the supposed curse that haunts Phoenix. And I’ll be honest; I’m getting a little worried it may be true.

2008-06-02T11:16:00.000-07:00

Traveled down to Denver this weekend but forgot to charge my camera because I am a dumbass and I still owe you pictures from Seaworld, so double-boo on me. I’ll get on that.

Summer in Colorado is simply tits. I dare you to try and beat it. I will call you a dirty, jealous liar. The whole drive from Steamboat to Denver was breathtakingly beautiful. I think I was more awestruck because I am use to the drab and beige landscape that is the American southwest. Spotted with the occasional abandoned building or joshua tree, there is not too much else to note. Driving in the Rockies you can see some unforgettable scenery. Lush rolling green hills were capped with snow-tipped craggy mountains. Expansive ranges covered the landscape, with the herds of cattle watching over their bouncing calves. Further into the mountains waterfalls signaled the end of winter’s grip amidst protecting sheep perched out on the plateaus. The bugling of elk could be heard for much of my trip as they celebrate the land’s unyielding splendor. A stop in the eastern slope of the Rockies provided a glimpse of a roaming buffalo heard. I was rubbernecking the entire way driving maybe 50 miles an hour just trying to take in as much of it as I could.

I met up with a couple of my fraternity brothers and their girlfriends in Denver. We caught up on each other’s lives post-college and reacted as though no time had passed at all. That night we went to downtown and barhopped the traditional hotspots in Denver, or so I was told. The night began to blur around 2AM, as it should, so we grabbed a cab and headed back to the ‘burbs. There, Mark and myself attempted to play guitar hero but it proved impossible in our state. Ashley, Mark’s girlfriend, decidedly kicked our ass before passing out. Ashley went first. Then Mark. Then I fell out of my chair and remained, so I went third.

Mark’s mother cooked a gourmet breakfast for us, eggs, French toast, bacon, sausage, fresh fruit, OJ and coffee. Afterwards there were some chores that consisted of some light moving, then a quick nap. We made our way to Morrison, and if you have never been you need to make it out there. Ever heard of Red Rocks? The natural Amphitheatre? Unbelievable, and to be able to see a show there would be game-changing. We relaxed at a sleepy Mexican restaurant that had a rooftop patio that overlooked the foothills leading to the Rockies. Remembering my distaste for straight shots of tequila, we eventually retired back to Mark’s house where we had a nice and quiet evening grilling and sipping wine. An intense round of Bocce ball followed desert. We capped off the evening with a couple of rounds of Clue but I proved too drunk to be an effective detective (sick rhyme, I know) as I had crossed off all the rooms and weapons, so I had to ask all my questions again and by that point it was pointless as most were well on their way to victory. At least I got to be Professor Plum.

The next morning we packed our respective cars and headed towards our 3 different destinations. Some were going to Florida, some were staying in Denver and I was headed back up the mountains. Before I left I went to a Lacrosse tournament and watched Mark’s team play a round. The Bandits, a group of 4-6 year olds, handily beat their opponents 8 – 2. Good for them. I saw Steamboat’s Lacrosse team crush their opponents and then I traveled back through the Rockies, home to Steamboat.
All in all, a good weekend.

2008-05-30T08:24:00.001-07:00

I’ve seen the look on his face before. Typical college frat party situation: Guy hands girl drink. Drink is much too strong for girl. Girl indulges. Girl feels tipsy then starts dancing on table. Girl is having the best time of her life. Guy looks on, smiling. Girl keeps drinking until the fun has worn off. Girl feels drunk. Girl gets tired. Guy asks girl if she needs to go home. Girl innocently says yes. Guy smiles to other guy friends. Guy friends smile back; thumbs up are exchanged between parties. Guy drives girl to house. One-night-stand occurs.

Hillary, how could you! Seriously though, this is a wicked funny photo. I do not know what the photographer was thinking, but this is not facebookable material. An appropriate caption would read, “OMG, I have such a wastey face going on in that pic, gross! I was so blacked-out I don’t know what even happened that night, lol!”

Truth be told if I was fighting a battle I knew I would lose I would probably settle into a nice warm glass of whiskey, too. How else should one react when they are the clear front-runner prior to and leading into the democratic nomination process before having the rug pulled out from under them? It’s been fun Hillary, but all parties have to end sometime.

2008-05-27T14:20:00.000-07:00

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull grossed $126 million in the box office this weekend. If I had it my way, Indiana Jones would have grossed $125,999,993 this weekend because I want my $7 back. The movie was disappointing to say the least. When I have kids and start to share my favorite things with them, they will be allowed to only watch the first three Indiana Jones movies, and even then I might take out Temple of Doom. I left the movie feeling simply betrayed. It hsould have been titled Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Greedy Director/Producer who Destroys Fond Memories. Or in short, IJKGDPDFM, as the internet kids would say.

I never grew out of my love for Indiana; in fact, his character has sharply influenced my life. I remember first seeing Raiders of the Lost Ark and being captivated by Harrison Ford’s character. He was everything a hero should be, courageous, humorous, humble, flawed, dashing, and educated. No catharsis was necessary for you to relate to Jones Jr. Something about that movie struck a cord in me and I have been fascinated with history ever since. I was the kid who was 16 and still excited to go to Disneyland just so I could go on the Indiana Jones ride because I had never been, and loved every minute of it. And yes, I bought a $40 mock fedora. I wanted the bullwhip but it was a school trip and weapons were not allowed.

Raiders showed audiences everywhere how “cool” history could actually be. Of course, when I hit middle school I realized that actual archeology was nothing like Indiana Jones but it didn’t matter since the message was already absorbed. I even pursued archeology as a viable major in college during my freshman year of college but then quickly learned my talents rested in other spots along the academic spectrum. Point being, the Indiana Jones trilogy inspired a lifetime passion in me, something not a lot of things can claim.

I begged my parents to let me rent the Temple of Doom on VHS but they refused because they heard about the infamous ripping-out-heart-scene and decided that was not suitable for a boy who was four or five. I’m glad they didn’t, but that’s another story entirely. When The Last Crusade came out I was the ripe age of seven and my father took me to see it. I was amazed, even more than when I had seen Raiders for the first time. It’s still my favorite and in my opinion the end of the Indy series.

Why is it the end? Because the two hour crap-fest that I was suckered into was nothing like the first three. It started off innocently enough with Ford making fun of his character’s age and his new limitations. It fit and I was thinking that this might work. Then, about 2 minutes into the movie when the mention of aliens first cropped up I turned my back on the feature. This wasn’t Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones doesn’t care about aliens or spaceships; he is more concerned about finding the cross Jesus was crucified on, or some other religious antiquity. Something human, something people across time can connect with.

It shocked me to learn that the Crystal Skulls are real. The myth that there are 13 is also whispered among historians, so I guess part of the series was based on fact, albeit loosely. I feel saddened that kids who have never known the original Indiana Jones watch this and then think the others will be like this new, shiny, Indiana Jones. Ironic because Ford is anything but new and shiny. They might go back and watch the originals, maybe even like them, but most likely will prefer the new Indy to the old one. I suppose if it instills the same passion that Indy gave me then there is no harm done, but come on. I mean come on. The X-Files is supposed to deal with this garbage. The new X-Files should have paid for this script and adapted it to the adventures of Moulder and Scully, and then I would have actually liked it because that is what the X-Files deals with. The new Indiana Jones felt so foreign, like a one-night-stand. Sure, it’s fun at the moment, but when you wake up you’re probably thinking about the last girl you dated and missing that comfort because you are sleeping on opposites sides of the bed with your recent conquest and not in her arms. Then you hit the bottle. Wet, lather, wash, rinse, and repeat if necessary.

I was really looking forward to this movie and I genuinely felt like a kid before I saw it, all giddy with the possibilities. Then, I felt like an adult after it was over. Maybe I’ll need to go back to Disneyland and go through the ride again to recapture the magic again. Then a trip through frontier land because animatronic presidents and ghosts are the shit.

2008-05-23T16:00:00.001-07:00

Time for a confession. At some point in my life I would love to be an owner/operator of some rinky-dink ski resort with maybe a lift or two, a small lodge, and a pub. I figure if I am even remotely successful in my future that would not be asking too much. The intention being to run it for a small profit, maybe not even a profit if I could make a successful NPO out of it for teaching kids how to snowboard or something. Basically I would run it like a mountain should be run with the intention of enjoying the sport without all the commercialization that has plagued the sport. It happened at Silverton Mountain, so I am optimistic that I could so the same one day.

Recently, a Czech company with U.S. holdings purchased an old ski resort named Ski Rio in New Mexico. I wrote a letter asking them what their intentions were and basically offering my services. Short of that, I asked if I could be allowed to hike the territory this winter and ride it to offer what little advice I could, a consultant of sorts but for free. That company will probably thing I am an idiot when I get a response, if I do. You can’t fault me for trying. You can fault me for being hopelessly optimistic.

2008-05-22T14:25:00.000-07:00

If I died tomorrow I would like to be remembered like this:

But then People would complain that they cannot see my face so I would offer them this:

But they would more than likely have to remember me like this, fucking clueless:

AWESOME

2008-05-21T16:15:00.001-07:00

Last night was nice. A trip to favorite local bar, Sunpies, with my non-Ukrainian roommate Doug. We had some locally blended hurricanes, sat in lawn chairs that overlooked the river and watched Kayakers go by. The highlight was a dude wearing a full wetsuit riding his surf board down the river, paddling ever son gently as he coasted merrily down the stream. He got the most attention. Most of the kayakers made jokes about being thrown a beer, so when we had enough we all threw ice at the next guy to say it. We all laughed, including orange kayak man with mustache. On the way out I saw a guy get pulled over and he likely joined club DUI, the least exclusive club around. Part of me was nervous seeing that and having had one drink, but then I thought, why the hell would one drink get me a DUI? Turns out I was right as I drove right past a cop. He was interested in other people, not me or my dirty Honda Civic. Doug suggested I wave to him, I suggested he shut up.

Got home, grabbed a bottle of Mickey's finest malt ale and proceeded to drink that opting for a liquid supper instead of a solid one. Not a big deal since beer has limited food content/value. I played GTA IV for a bit, and it was fun. Something never gets old about shooting old ladies in the leg and robbing them. While I was doing this my Ukrainian roommate and I were teaching each other our respective languages. I forgot all of what he taught me, but I taught him what "are you hittin' that?" meant. He thought I literally meant if he was hitting the girl next door and seemed offended but when I explained it meant fucking that girl I could not tell if he was more or less offended. Eastern European facial expressions and body language are hard to understand and make less sense than one might think. He has a lot of stoic looks.

I wrestled with the idea of taking a personal day this morning in place of work, but realized that it is all down hill as far as the week is concerned once Wednesday is over so I should just get up and go to work. I did. Took a quick shower, grabbed myself an orange that I thought would be delicious (it wasn't) and skipped out the door to work. Here I am, 7.5 hours later watching the clock tick by waiting for the magic hour, 5:00, to appear on the clock face. I did find some activities to do this afternoon which took up some of my time. First I started thinking that since I had been watching Jeopardy a bunch and getting a lot of questions right (at least recently) that I should apply to be a contestant. Well, when I went to go do that I found out that they have an annual test which you take and then if you qualify, take another written test in L.A. or some bullshit. I think I would just apply to grad school before that. So that didn't happen.

Then I got to thinking that maybe I should apply to be a contestant on Survivor. That seemed like a good idea since I used to be a boy scout way back in the day and had some survival savvy.Turns out the application process is not too complicated. Just a paper questionnaire, a waiver, proof of a U.S. passport and a 3 minute video explaining why you should be on survivor. The questionnaire took longer than I expected and since I am OCD about my handwriting, decided the first copy did not turn out the way I wanted so I filled out the questionnaire a second time with blue ink. Much better. I had plenty of time to sit back and think up some good answers to some routine questions but couldn't help wondering how many other people would write down the exact same thing as me. The whole thing took me about 1.5 hours so that was nice. If I had my camera with me at the office I would begin filming my 3 minute video, but I do not so instead I settled for looking at other people's videos. This will be the most challenging aspect of the application process since I am in no way creative. Some of the videos I saw were extremely elaborate and some were not. This video thing just has the stink of lame theatre company memories from high school written all of over but I have till the middle of July to figure it out and piece it all together.

I read an article on MSNBC that recommend you eat lunch at 2 during your workday to gain the most energy and be the most productive you can be towards the end of your workday. I think I messed up the results though since I bought an energy drink to go with my sandwich so I ruined the control variable (sandwich). I haven't had an energy drink in awhile though and it really got my heart racing as I sat at my desk. I was kicking myself for being full of energy and having to sit. Found a couple of local snowboarder's blogs from Steamboat today and threw them on the list. If you like snowboarding you may want to check them out as they give insight to both snowboarding and Steamboat.

The only background noise I had for the better part of 3 hours was an HR strategy session going on next door to my office. Lots of spreadsheets, lots of PowerPoint slides, lots of wasted time. I am glad I am not important enough to be included in meetings like that. This probably has something to do with my always wearing a hat and sandals, never shaving and general cognitive distance that I display while at work. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am the only employee that opts for a 9AM in time. Either way I get the impression that I am not taken too seriously at work, which is fine by me since I "still have my youth and should display it proudly" as my boss puts it. Whatevs I say. I spent the rest of my afternoon thinking of cheesy pickup lines because I think they are awesome. The best one I came up with goes a little something like this:

Walk up to a cute/dumb looking girl at a bar. Ask her if she would like to see a magic trick. If she says yes ask her to write down her phone number on a cocktail napkin as a precursor to the trick. Ask her to say the magic words and then say, "My friends said I could not get your phone number! MAGIC!" Followed by "so when can I call you?" Pretty lame but it just might actually work. Try it out, I know I won't.

We are suppossed to have thunderstorms the next 3 days :) I love those, great book reading weather.

2008-05-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

Whenever Trevor and I are around each other, typically no good really results from it. One of our favorite activities is drinking, and not just the casual drinking with friends, but the heavy you will not remember details from the night drinking. I have learned how to control myself to the point where I will not black out anymore, but as far as details of conversations, phone calls, they all become a little gray. Not a big deal though, because when you are that drunk the details don't really matter anyway. Throughout my life I have been told that my friends and I have "exhausted" people with our drinking.

As a direct result of my familiarity with the bottle, I discovered the amazing properties of day drinking a couple of years ago. See, one must distinguish drinking from day drinking because they are entirely different things. Drinking implies nighttime when the lights of judging masses have gone out and the streets belong to the young and unruly. Judgment is hampered, mistakes are made, love is won and lost all in the same night. If you're lucky and you manage to control yourself, you might still have your dignity but the night will arguably not have lived up to its potential. With day drinking, you are mainly in control. I think this has a lot to do with the sun and it constantly beating on you. Either way, the best part about day drinking is that you can drink for hours with no problem...relatively speaking.

Case in Point: Trevor and I decide to start drinking around 3PM. Great. We drink casually at my parent's house then decide we should move to a bar where we continue to indulge in some brew. I typically stick with the lighter beers just to make things easier on myself for the long haul. Neither one of us is drunk by the time dinner roles around, so beer with our supper is appropriate before getting ready to go out on the town: Town being a shitty dive bar named Baer's Den that is basically the width of a bowling lane with a dartboard in the back and a table in the front. I don't really care about cool bars anymore, I did when I was 21 but got over myself about 1.5 years later. I'm not looking to meet girls so the fact that my brother's girlfriend Audrey was the only girl there did not bother me. I have a girl and she's super :)

But, since I was not going to see her that night, I got sloppy drunk. This was where I upped the ante and started drinking vodka redbulls in-between shots jager. Some beers helped flush all that noxious fluid down, but I kept my cool since I am very used to this combination. Trevor and I threw some darts playing cricket, and he beat me, handily. It was my lack of skill that was the determinant there. We debated playing another game, drawing the our crowd of friends from one end of the bar to the other when we noticed the bar tender cleaning his shit up at 1AM. When we asked what was up he said it was his birthday and we were happy to close our tabs and vacate, which we did.

Popping over to our favorite late night eatery, Vaquero's, we grubbed on some California burritos before realizing what time it was. Or better put, how little time we had to buy some more alcohol because neither Trevor or myself felt like throwing in the towel. A quick trip to a gas station produced a 12 pack of Bud light and a $5 lotto ticket. We then returned to Trevor's and played Mario Kart into the wee hours of the evening, very, very drunk at this point but still finding it appropriate to drink cheap silver tequila with our beer. I forgot about the lotto ticket that was still in my back pocket but it would have done me the same amount of good all the same if I had never remembered it since I lost when I did remember it. More Mario Kart and the slow rise of the sun produced an interesting situation; should we stay up drinking till 6AM when a different local dive bar opened. Yes.

We wanted to see who would be there so we waited for the free bus, being much to drunk to drive, and eventually ended up in my old neighborhood right next to the Yucca Taproom. Until recently the Yucca, as we call it, did not actually have beers on draft so its very name was a misnomer. Anyway we went in and ordered some drinks that we were not carded for because who the fuck drinks at 6AM that isn't legal? We had a massive jager shot which almost caused me to throw up, and then some more beer and played pool. Our night ended at about 10AM or so, when we figured it was starting to get hot outside and Trevor's parents were coming into town that afternoon, whom he had not seen in 2 years. On our way back to the bus stop we stopped at Burger King for a quick breakfast. I had to pee to so I moved on over the bathroom. When I walked in there was a man in the bathroom, no biggee since there were two urinals.

Still being very drunk, I go to use the other urinal when I notice something is just not right about the dude to my right. He has been peeing along time and he is grabbing his neck...FUCK! He was masturbating in the Burger King bathroom, subtle ohhs and ahhhs solidified this. I rush out not stopping to wash my hands. I tell Trevor of this fool and he immediately runs in and comes right back out, doubled over in laughter. Dude was apparently pulling his hair and his meat simultaneously. Wow. I tell Trevor that I bet he is going to the bus stop after his morning tug and sure enough, he does. We laugh, ride a different bus back to Trevor's house and pass out.

Next thing I know I am awakened around 2PM by Trevor's parents, still pretty drunk. I start to recap the night's events to them getting some smiles, some hurried glances, merciful laughter. When I am done, Trevor's mom tells me and Trevor to stay out of Burger King. Never mind the bar at 6AM, her problem is with the King. Good advice.

And let's be honest. Who isn't creeped out by the King?

2008-05-19T11:57:00.000-07:00

I’m convinced my life is a comedy of errors. I tend to have phenomenally good luck, so when something less than desirable happens I take it with a smile. I’ll let you be the judge of my current situation.

I was in Phoenix for two weeks, enjoying the sun and escaping the snow. Seeing all my friends and family was great and for the majority of the time I really did not do anything, which I thought I was entitled to. It was great. I sat on my ass, drank a lot of cheap beer, and generally just kept it real. Great, right? I even managed a quick trip to California to visit SeaWorld, a place of terrifying sea creatures that are happy to eat you, dolphins included. Anyway, I’ll post on that with pictures later, back to the story.

Two days before I am to leave to head back to Steamboat my roommate Doug calls me and asks if I knew there were two Ukrainian guys living in our apartment. Well no, I say, I had no idea. He says that there are two 19-year-old Ukrainian construction workers who are our new roommates. AWESOME. I say this because I had a conversation with our landlord concerning new roommates. I said it was cool, in fact welcome, but I wanted them to wait until I got back since both my roommate and I would be on vacation for two weeks. Move in anyone you want after that, but just wait. The property manager looked me in the eye, shook my hand and said sure. What’s more, he assured me that whoever did move in would be American.

Now I am not xenophobic so I do not care if they are American or not, I just wanted to be there, not asking a whole lot since there are about 100 empty apartments in our complex right now. I drag my tired body through our apartment door on Saturday evening after a 12-hour drive from Phoenix and see that no lights are on. I wondered if Doug was fucking with me. Then a light in the opposite bedroom pops on and out strolls some lanky dude with a lot of moles and a really bad haircut. Think about the dude in Rocky IV who fights Rocky but was put in the washing machine at a high temperature and has been malnourished and you’ll have an idea of Igor, my new roomie. He’s nice enough, his English is decent, but seriously, what the fuck? I have had it with the shoddy situation that is employee housing despite the amazing savings and am eager to leave after June.

As I said, I have plenty more to write about and I will…probably tomorrow. I have so little to do at work that I have to “save” things about the internet so I can entertain myself at work and pass the time. Sad I know, but what else can I do?

2008-05-16T13:10:00.000-07:00

I apologize blog, and my few readers. I have been neglecting you. It is very hard to write when I am on vacation. Plenty to write about and I will, but I just can't write now...HAHAHA.

2008-05-01T15:42:00.001-07:00

Listening to NPR for over 8 hours a day can be draining. I prefer the morning programming to the evening programming for the simple reason that it is not as heavy. There is a lot of fluff in the morning, some feel good stories intermixed with the news and current events. I liken it to CNN’s iReport section, where average people report on average things and submit them for CNN’s approval to run with. It’s good stuff, really. The only downside I find is that the programming tends to loop about the 1.5-2 hour mark, so you are forced to listen to the same program. But, you learn new things the second time around, kind of like reading a book that you have already read again.

Then NPR kicks it serious and gets into the meat of their programming in the afternoon. Today, I am listening to Tell Me More with Sarah Bloomfield, director of the national holocaust museum. HEAVY. Switching gears, there was an interview with Jimmy Carter, the peanut man. Oh, and he was a U.S. President of lesser fame. I know him as a homespun peanut man with a winning smile. I imagine you can guess why they would want to interview Jimmy Carter. He took an unsanctioned trip to go chat with the HAMAS folks. Did he accomplish anything on that trip? Kinda. He got HAMAS to agree to some things they were traditionally hard-nosed about such as a cease fire in Gaza. Not bad Jimmy, not bad. Israel rejected it though, so people are still shooting when they feel like it. I find it bothersome that people would condemn his visit, saying it was not his place to visit the Middle East and that is relevance as Presidential figure has long faded. I can’t help but draw parallels to his past presidency and the current one. Who has more experience dealing with Middle East extremists? Who dealt with high oil prices? Who dealt with a recession-era economy? It might have been Carter, but I could be wrong since the federal government has repeatedly cut education funds since Bush took office. I might have been left behind!

But aside from that, I find HAMAS interesting. While classified by the Bush administration as a terrorist group with terrorist ties (despite their funding coming from Saudi Arabia, the US’ bedfellow), they don’t fit the traditional mold, do they? They entered an election and won, the democratic way. They are defending territory they believe to be theirs. They support healthcare and education. This is not state-sponsored terrorism, this is obviously an educated group of people. That being said, they definitely have some issues with Israel that are worrisome. However, it seems that they are willing to meet halfway with Israel with regard to Gaza. Jimmy Carter demonstrated this and for that I applaud him. Obviously I have way over-simplified the situation and by no means am I secret HAMAS supporter, like Barack (haha), but as I said I do find the group interesting.

See, NPR makes me all analytical in the afternoon when I should just be counting down the hours of the day till I get to pop the tabs on a couple of Pabst and have Lost blow my mind in a couple of hours. My roommate and I have an island adventure day where he gets to watch Survivor, I get to watch Lost, then we watch re-runs of A shot at Love, at which point we are drunk and stupid. The way I prefer to be.

2008-04-28T15:04:00.000-07:00

After reading the news all day it is hard to remain optimistic about anything. Is that called being an adult or can I just blame it on the media? Probably both. Work defintely affords me the ability to be more "worldly" but it charges my carefree demenor. I eventually recover every night, but during the day I hit these pessimistic slumps where I just can't see anything good lately.

My solution: An intervention for America. America pretends to be filming a documentary about oil use, all the while unsuspecting that an eventual intervention will take place. America will be invited to a hotel in a safe, neutral location (Canada or Iceland being ideal) and told that it will be concluding the documentary. Once the door is open to the hotel room, BAM! Inside will be Switzerland, Sweden, Finland, Norway and Costa Rica waiting to tell America how much they love America, but that it's appetite for oil is destroying America in the following ways;

1. Since being addicted to oil, you are producing too much Carbon dioxide.

2. Since being addicted to oil, you have become increasingly hostile to your friends and family.

3. Since being addicted to oil, you have put a financial strain on those who care about you.

Followed by, America, if you do not seek help and treatment for your addiction our relationship with you will change in the following ways;

1. We will not commit troops to yor foreign wars.

2. We will no longer view you as a champion of human rights.

3. We will not allow you to borrow any more money to support your habit.

Wait a minute...that's already happened! I guess America decided it was better to kick back a barrel or two and skip out on the intervention. It's a shame too, I used to like America. I'm sure America will get by, but it will never reach its potential. Such a waste. Waste that is killing out planet.

Seriously though, kinda depressing to think about unless you do it like I do, in a comical fashion. Newsweek's Tom Kloza defintely had the best quote when talking about America's addiction to oil, "All this talk of energy independence means nothing if you don't have energy discipline. When it comes to our gasoline consumption, we're [Americans] the morbidly obese of the world. And like the person who weighs 350 pounds, we need to exercise more and consume less." Tom, take a look around you. If you're not 350 pounds you're an exception to the rule. People will ask you why you are wasting away. Sigh.

2008-04-25T16:14:00.000-07:00

Dave Attel can be a very funny man. Case in point: Last night I was watching late night TV with my roommate, and while I hate late night TV (save Conan of course), he thoroughly enjoys it. He flips to the Jimmy Kimmel show, I think, and there is Mr. Attel giving a preview of his new comedy special. On the clip he states how much he enjoys when political candidates drop out of the Presidential race by saying something to the effect of, “ ‘I’m graciously bowing out of my bid for the Presidency for the good of [my] the party.’ Why can’t people at normal, regular parties do that? Just say they are leaving for the good of the party, wouldn’t that be awesome?” He’s so spot on with that, but it got me thinking about the current Presidential race and how much I am dreading it.

Does this Presidential race look at all familiar? Could one, if one were so inclined, draw parallels to say, another presidential race? Would it be that hard to picture Obama and Hillary as Bush and Gore during the 2000 election? Would Kucinich be any more of a realistic candidate? Admittedly, I already know the answer to the last question, unfortunately Dennis doesn’t. But seriously, it has me worried. I don’t think the country has quite recovered from the drag it out, who knows who really won the election, which was 2000. I can see Obama and Hillary taking this to the extreme and ultimately hurting their chances, either one, at becoming President.

Look at the last “Super Tuesday” in Pennsylvania. For an entire month full of speculation, full of political analysis, full of public blunders what did we, the American public, get in the end? Hillary chipped into Obama’s lead by ten votes. Ten fucking votes!? Then, superdelegates declare for Obama all the same. What the hell is the point? I wish someone would have the courage the grace to just admit that it is lost. I mean, the best thing that can be said for this prolonged contest is that I am starting to remember all 50 states and their capitals (Knowledge I lost due to drinking and not being in fifth grade). I am sick and tired of inconsequential states mattering long before they are supposed to get their limelight on, Election night, the way it should be. Sorry Indiana, but your greatest claim to fame is Larry Bird.

2008-04-24T11:19:00.000-07:00

I think I missed my calling in life. While watching the Yankees pound the White Sox last night I overheard the announcer mention White Sox Catcher A.J. Pierzynski. At first it was this odd conversation about how he had lost weight, some 20 pounds. At the time, I remember thinking how dull this baseball was that the sportscaster resorted to talking about a catcher’s weight. Then, the announcer said something to the effect of how proud Mr. Pierzynski was of his ability to piss people off. Specifically, the batters who stand next to him.

Apparently, it is a desirable quality of a catcher to be able to piss batters off. Why was this never reinforced on me when I participated in little league? I thought the catcher position was the worst because you just sat there and waited for the pitcher to throw you the ball time after time. Little did I know that the catcher position was actually the best possible position for me to play because I love to make fun of people. I probably could have made it to the majors with a little boost from steroids to give my batting an edge. I would not have to be concerned about my piss poor fielding or finding ways to pass the time because I could just rip on the dude at bat and never move. I blame all of my youth sports coaches for this one, thanks guys. You let a kid with a talent go undiscovered.

On a different note, as I returned to work today I noticed a flier on my office door:

“To whomever hit my 1999 Silver Suburu Forrester, please know that karma will catch up with you if you do not come forward.”

A lady, who my roommate and I constantly rip on for being a not-so-super person, signed it. The irony being that karma finally caught up to her, so the karma she is seeking to punish someone else should go unfulfilled if the world works the way that I think it does. Plus it is a Suburu, plus it is more than likely cosmetic, plus she is not-so-super, so…the sign actually cheered me up as I was dreading sitting behind a desk all day.

You would think that being gone for three days would ensure that I have something to do to fill my time, but I don’t, not really. There are a couple of miscellaneous things that I need to do, none of them requiring much effort. I will more than likely space them out between writing this, surfing the news, writing another blog post, and browsing through the jobs in Phoenix. At least tomorrow is Friday and it is my first day back. Working only two days then having two days off is grand. Don’t you think people would be a hell of a lot more happy at work if they adopted a 2 day on, 2 day off policy and just nix the whole weekend idea? I do.

2008-04-16T15:42:00.000-07:00

In things that depress me news, a group of 4 out of Birmingham, Alabama is suing Southwest Airlines over safety and contractual violations. I saw this coming the instant I read the initial report on Southwest’s little hiccup.

The lawsuit covers an estimated 10,000 people who flew Southwest over a period when safety inspections were relaxed and planes were allowed to reschedule their six-month regular visit to the Plane dentist, so to speak. At a time when airlines are scrambling to figure out ways to make flying profitable, some jackoff wants to take advantage of the situation and see how many dimes he can shake out. Call me crazy, but suing one of the most affordable airlines in the world over something that NEVER happened doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to the consumer.

Already facing a possible 10 million dollar fine, add the cost of litigation and possible settlement to an already volatile market and what do you get? Cheaper plane tickets and safer airplanes? No and no. What you get is creative customer fees to compensate. $20 for extra leg room sound familiar? $25 for a second bag?

What’s even more disgusting about this situation is that the people suing will likely champion safety as their number 1 concern, not monetary gain. I would be more okay with the situation if the plaintiffs just came out and stated that they saw an opportunity to get money and jumped at the chance because they are greedy people that have no work ethic. I would be fine with that.

What’s yet more disturbing is the support of lawsuits like this. People will likely rally behind this lawsuit and attempt to claim their piece of the pie. I’ve flown Southwest practically my whole life and if I get a check in the mail based on the outcome of this settlement I will just return it to sender and write on the check, thanks but no thanks.

When I need money I think I am going to go around and test the tire pressure of all our city bus tires. Then, when I inevitably discover that it is lower than it should be because tires leak air over time (like stress cracks a fuselage over time) I will find some crackpot lawyer who is willing to work for nothing but a percentage of a potential settlement, and sue the city. Of course, I will make sure to claim I was just looking out for the safety of those who ride the bus, mention how precious children lives are, maybe throw in the environment and I should be a millionaire in 6-8 months. In a nutshell, that is what’s going on in ‘Bama right now. LONG LIVE THE SOUTH!

2008-04-16T13:01:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we dumped what were once, five years ago, state of the art computers. Probably like twenty of them. One of my managers rounded up all the guys and instructed us to gather the aged computers and dispose of them. I do not know why she picked yesterday of all days to do so when they have been sitting there since I started this job but I guess that is why I am not the one making the important decisions. Apparently I have to work in the professional setting 5-10 years before I get to decide when to take out the trash.

As we were taking the computers to their new home, there was a funny little box sitting next to them. I asked if this was trash, too. It was. I’ve never seen a box like this before, so naturally I was a bit curious. It was about the size of a rectangular, modest-sized Christmas present. I bend down to pick it up and upon gripping it I discovered that little box weighed about 50 pounds. Why the hell would something that looks like it weighs maybe 5 pounds weigh 50? It had a bunch of power outlets on the back so my first thought was that it might be some sort of original steam-powered surge protector.

I can just imagine the pioneers of the young surge protector business, able to finally harness the power of electricity for an extra minute so they could properly power down their coal-fueled computers without causing a boiler explosion. This invention might have single handedly reduced the once abundant British orphan population that was so reliant on pre-industrial revolution computers in early 19th century America. Barons would soon arise to dominant the surge protector business such as…well to be honest I don’t know any brand names for surge protectors and do not feel like googling it. Point is, I was holding a piece of computer history in my hands.

Lost in fanciful dreams, a co-worker of mine brought me back to 2008 when he asked what I was doing. I told him I was curious as to what the thing I was holding did. Very flatly he stated it was a backup lead battery. No imagination, no charm, just your run of the mill battery. He then exited the room. It made sense when I think about my car battery and when I had to replace that. The damn thing weighed a ton, and so too, did this battery. Fraternal twins separated at birth, the batteries would lead competing lives. Like Romulus and Remus, the batteries vied for superiority. In the end, I use a car battery still and did not know what a backup lead battery even looked like prior to yesterday.

I heaved the lead battery into the trash, but for my arrogance was punished by the fallen god. The lead battery sliced open my thumb leaving me to forever wonder when my last Tetanus shot was.

2008-04-15T11:58:00.000-07:00

I’m a pretty avid hold ‘em player. I used to play a poker game about once a week back home, but finding a good poker circle here has been anything but easy. The first week I was here I saw an ad in the paper for a poker league so I figured I would go and check it out. It was in a bar after hours with some shadey folks, but whatever. We played two games, the first was just a free one that was counted against the league scores, and the second was a $10 cash game.

The first game I admittedly did not play well on purpose because I wanted to see what other people would play with. I made it to the final table and pushed my luck with low-tier hands to give people the idea that I “kinda” knew what I was doing. Sure enough, they marked me as an easy take and invited me to play the cash game afterwards. I stepped up my game, considerably, and ended up winning everyone’s money. Needless to say they were not terribly enthused that I had just ran the table. I opted not to play with them again just because it wasn’t really a challenge, and I reckoned they might hit me over the head with a barstool or something else blunt.

My poker medium has been mainly online since that night. I’ve had some ups and downs with that avenue, but for the most part ups, luckily. I think I have won a little over a thousand bucks in the six months that I have been playing, so that’s a good sign that I am doing things right. Last night I entered one free tournament and placed first, buying me entry into a $20 buy-in tournament, which I also placed first! Out of 600 people I got first! If it was a regular game I would have earned a handsome sum of money, but the winner of that tournament got entry into a million dollar tournament. So, I am entered into a million dollar tournament without paying a dime. Given the current trend, I think I have a decent chance of placing, too, and getting some real money out of this one. Top prize is like 750K, which I don’t think I am capable of winning at this level, but I might be able to walk away with a couple thousand.

I’m petty excited about this one. I think one of the most valuable transferable skills I learned from Poker is the ability to control my excitement and manage the pressure better. I have always been good at not letting pressure affect my performance, but poker has reinforced and refined this skill. The job search continues, but if I won some serious money it would not have to…that would be indescribably amazing but I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm a realist.

2008-04-14T00:03:00.000-07:00

Another long + boring weekend here in Steamboat, but it always provides the perfect opportunity for thought and speculation. Mainly about the important things, existential questions, questions about the universe, questions about yourself. It can all become a bit much at times, so one needs to be careful enough to dull the mind’s razor with alcohol. I listened to my ipod by the river today and it was good. The sun was out all day and I could feel warmth for the first time in months. With my sunglasses I took in my surroundings and was just completely at peace. I thought a lot about the movie Big Fish, which I watched for the first time last night. I was really, really surprised with how much I liked that movie. I have owned that movie for the better part of a year and not once did I even think of watching it. It came with another movie I had bought, something terrible that I cannot even remember. I saw a lot of myself in the main character, Edward Bloom.

Edward Bloom was a man known for exaggerating the truth. Some see it as a fault, others as a blessing. His intention was never to deceive, simply to entertain and add color and vitality to an otherwise bland story. His own son identified him as a liar, but is stretching the truth a lie? I’ve never thought so, but some people do. The ending is so wonderfully satisfying and beautiful, when all of Edward’s stories are shown to be at least partially true. It reveals the character that was Edward and finally he connects with his son.

Now, it should be noted that I am often drawn to movies about sons and their relationship with their fathers. I base this on not really having a dad. Yes, he’s alive and yes he does the basics, but having a relationship where I see him once every some odd years and talk about some trivial bullshit is not a relationship. He has no idea who I am, he has no idea about the girls I kissed, no idea what my graduation was like. He had no advice for me during college, only treating me like the thirteen year old he so readily left behind. Over time I grew up and turned into an adult, a transformation he has yet to realize. I’m not one to cry over spilt milk, what’s done is done and I am stronger for it. I taught myself most of what I know, through the lack of experience which lead to poor judgment which lead to many, many mistakes. I learned from all of them, or am still learning from them. I don’t look forward to the mistakes to come because I know I have more ahead of me then I do behind me.

Today, things just felt right. I pictured some people, where they fit in my life and maybe why they didn’t fit at all. It started with my father but I quickly drew a tangent. I eventually focused my energies on a girl, as I tend to do. Until today she had more of my energies than she deserved. One of those nagging what ifs, you know the kind. The what happened, what could have been, why did it happen, etc. One of those. For the longest time I felt it was my fault, as though I had done something wrong by pushing her away for what she had done. I would replay the scenario in my head, what I could have said, what I could have done to change the way things are. Well today I was watching a guy fish and sipping on my beer, the mountain making a curtain against the sky when suddenly, he caught a fish. The glimmer was blinding as he pulled the modest fish out of the river. He grabbed the line, freed the fish and gave it one last look before tossing it back. The fish would grow. It struck me that was exactly what I had done with her. I let her go so she could grow and I, like the fisherman, could move further along the riverbank. The river will keep running.

I really felt like I laid to rest a demon today, sitting there watching winter give way to spring. There’s too many good things in this world to be hung up on some of the bad, no matter how deep the cut is. Even the deepest of cuts scar, serving as a reminder of where you came from. You may not look the same, but you’ll move on just like the flow of a river. Rivers eventually find their way back to the ocean, and so too, must we.

I apologize for the abundant water metaphors. It should be noted that being semi buzzed and listening to Coldplay while sitting by a river can cause one to write something like this.

2008-04-11T10:43:00.000-07:00

Spring is still failing at its job seeing as it is STILL snowing. Just thought I’d let you all know.

Can I just tell you how glad I am that I never ever fly American? Part of me feels bad for the 250,000 people that have been affected by this, but then the other part of me just wants to laugh. I don’t think I would mind if my flight got cancelled, airports have enough to do in them. I certainly wouldn’t raise a big stink about it and demand money or compensation because the airlines cannot afford it.

Some columnist on MSNBC wrote an article about how he was boycotting flying on all carriers, given all the safety violations, delays and cancellations. That’s fine if he wants to be a moron about the situation, but the thing that bothered me was all the comments left on his article. The vast majority of people were in agreement with him! There were about 250 comments or so saying that they would also not fly, or have not flown because of the negligence of the airlines. I would like to put all these people in a room and just ask them when was the last serious plane accident as a result of negligence. I bet I would get about 250 blank stares. Get a clue people; you’ll never get anywhere efficiently.

On top of this, people are “outraged” by the price of a plane ticket. Really? I mean, if a post college graduate with loans to pay, barely making it in a resort town can afford 5-10 plane tickets a year, why can’t you? What’s that, you have family? Then drive like everyone else. I cannot tell you the agony/bonding that I was forced into by family road trips. I’m sorry gas is expensive, but you really are out of choices here. And another thing, if you really do actually boycott airlines, the demand for air travel will go down, which will adversely affect prices with airlines having to raise prices to compensate for shortages. Basic economics.

Another guy boldly suggested working on the train infrastructure here in the United States to model Europe’s. That won’t happen because you are the same impatient person who fifty years ago wanted to fly because train travel was too slow, which lead to advancements in the airline industry that you no longer support. On the upside, I am certainly willing to pay a little more, especially if it means a more vacant plane, but I don’t think that will happen with my luck since I fly with airlines that get it. Sure, Southwest had some cracked fuselages, but has Southwest ever had an air disaster? Nope, not one. A cynic can play the what if game all they want, but I’ll let the facts speak for themselves. That, or I can let the crew speak, who have gone on record saying why in the world would they continually board a plane they knew to be unsafe. They wouldn’t.

I will say that one of the true joys of my European backpacking experience two years ago was riding the trains. There was so much time to sit and think, listen to music, to absorb, to talk to your friends and have a civilized conversation in the dining car over cigarettes and wine. Americans are too impatient for this system to exist with great success here, which saddens me. We all fly, and if we can’t afford to, we think about flying. Ask a person who has never flown (if you can find one) if they would like to one day. I bet their answer would be yes.

I’m hoping for my sake that there is little interruption with my flight to Phoenix in a week, but you never know. I would put money on a weather delay being more likely than technical issues, seeing as I am flying out of Denver.

2008-04-10T10:33:00.000-07:00

The Suns burned the Spurs last night, so that was good. I’m pretty sure I am the only Suns fan in all of Steamboat, but I revel in my fandom all the same: Sporting the Suns new era ball cap, rocking the Suns practice shorts, and slamming beers for them. After last night I feel very good about the playoffs for two reasons:

1. The Suns will advance far, based off the play I saw last night. That was the best game they have played since acquiring the Big Cactus, and it demonstrated exactly why we dumped Marion for Shaq. I’m sure other NBA teams are watching the film, showing their players how Phoenix attacked. If it wasn’t Amare it was Shaq, and when they get in foul trouble, we run. It’s a devastating combo that is hard to adjust to because there will always be a mismatch on the floor thanks to Mr. Nash, Canada's best contribution to America. Seeing Shaq inbound for the small lineup minus Nash was interesting, too. We have everything we were criticized for not having last year.

2. The Spurs will not advance far. They choked, again, for the second time in a week against a potential playoff match up. Both times, they were blown out in the fourth quarter. They barely managed to beat the Blazers. I’ll give the Blazers their due; they are a good team and will be scary good in a couple of years, maybe after the Suns have set. It looks like San Antonio’s dynasty might be over and thank god; I can’t stand them for their boring basketball, their cheap fouling/flopping players and their annoying fans that sputter on and on about how great Tim Duncan is. I’ve heard it; we’ve all heard it.

I think other NBA teams took note last night, that Phoenix can be scary good if they are in sync. When we get production and hustle from out bench and when that happens, we look like a championship team.

Enough of my hard-on for the Suns though, there’ll be more to come I’m sure. So today I have an interview/negotiation on a job in North Scottsdale, so that’s exciting. Ideally I would like to take some time off in between jobs if I can wrangle a decent salary out of them, which I think I can. 3 weeks wouldn’t be asking a lot, given relocation, etc. Of course, they could sniff that scam out pretty fast since I believe I told them I have family in Phoenix and can easily move there immediately. We’ll see. Can I just say how nice it would be if I land this job with what I want and get to leave the massive piles of snow behind? It’d be great, in case you’re curious. I get a teaser trip to Phoenix a week from tomorrow for five days regardless of getting a job or not, the longest I will have been home since I moved.

A problem I do have with moving, how the F am I supposed to get all my shit home? Over the season I amassed 6 snowboards and I don’t have a ski rack and I drive a Civic. Not good planning on my part and I might be forced to ship some stuff, which I am dreading simply because of cost. I think if I take off all the bindings and stack them it will minimize the space they take up, but not by a whole bunch. Logistically, it just doesn’t make sense given the tight quarters I had driving up here, but we can always hope and pray. I want to raid my closet and dump all the clothes I never wear, but I always suck at that because I grab a shirt and think about the last time I wore it and typically decide that I will wear it again. If I was blind that shit would be cake, but everything else would not be. Added to the clothes dilemma is all my snowboarding gear, which is large and takes up a lot of space, too. I might be able to ship that stuff at a reasonable rate though. Maybe I’ll do that. I got my credit limit extended well beyond what it should be and that seems like a good use.

My interview is at 2PM MST, wish me luck, not that I need. Give that to the Spurs.

2008-04-09T13:41:00.000-07:00

Forgot to mention, Suns and Spurs in San Antonio tonight on ESPN. Can't wait to watch Amare, Nash, Shaq, and Bell make Duncan, Parker, Ginobli and crew their bitch. Get excited! It's almost playoff time...

2008-04-09T13:33:00.000-07:00

I echo what Suzie said about not posting what I write sometimes. I just wrote about a full page on videogames and womanizing, philandering and general nonsense that had no central theme and then just now, erased it. I agree with her that the despite the personal nature of blogs and the ability to express opinion through your own writing, as Tony said, there are some things that I am loathe to post on, despite my apparent want. Only during the review process of reading my potential post do I scrutinize the backspace key, contemplating its use. The cursor selects the draft in its entirety, a subsequent click and boom, it’s all gone. Every word, every thought, every period has vanished and replaced by nothing, replaced by this.

I actually have this innate fear that I will write something that sounds deeper than it is, too pretentious to be my own thought even though it might just be that. I don’t want to be called out for looking at things too critically or not critically enough, and I don’t want to skirt the line either. I want my writings to be of consequence, not causality. That sentence is a perfect example. I’ll keep it though, because writing two full drafts and posting neither would be silly.

At the bar party the other night I drank myself retarded, retarded puked on the ground drunk. Don’t really remember all of the night, especially the closing hours, but I did manage to get home to my bed much to my surprise when I woke up, still dressed from the night before with the taste of vomit in my mouth and a pounding, deserved head ache. I willed myself to brush my teeth, strip down my clothes, write a quick email to my boss letting her know of my absence that day, and crawled back into bed where I laid for the remainder of the day. Pretty pathetic, but like I said, I deserved that miserable condition. Drinking short 7&7s out of pint glasses is a surefire way to punish oneself. Mix in a couple of shots, beer and what was once prime rib, and you have yourself a recipe for failure. I thought the elements added up to a great time, who knew?

I slowly emerged from hangover, cocoon-state around 6PM last night, took a shower and debated what to eat finally settling on really cold, grape Kool-Aid for dinner. For some reason I crave really cold things when I am hung over, like an otter pop. Last night, an otter pop would have been choice. Sir Isaac Lime would have treated me royally. Maybe some Poncho Punch. Of course, as I was trying to sleep off the previous nights decisions, potential Phoenix employers started to call me only to receive my voicemail. I landed two interviews, one for today and one for tomorrow, huzzah! I’m glad I made no effort to pick up my phone, in my state they would have probably just hung up on me. The good news is that if I land one of these jobs I will get (A) a huge pay increase and (B) out of my lease without being charged an additional month’s rent.

This will mean a revisit to my parent’s house, but since they are awesome and rich, I will have even more of an opportunity to save money. This money will go into the house I will be renting and a new bed, a queen sized bed with room enough for my hypothetical dog, my lady friend and me. This time I might actually get a bed frame and headboard too, you know, like an adult (Please note that I had this exact sentence in my first draft and since I liked it so much decided it needed a place in this, new, draft). The bed frame will undoubtedly come from IKEA, which is right by my parent’s house. God I miss that store. Then some investment in some art, some wall décor and then if money permits, a new flat screen would be boss. That’s kind of on the wants list rather than the needs list, which has bed, dog and GTA IV on it.

In other dork news, I ordered Bioshock and Mario Galaxy to see if they live up to all the hype. That, and I have nothing to do with the mountain being closed. Did I mention that we closed? I probably did because it is bullshit. It’s bullshit because since we closed we have gotten over a foot of fresh snow that is now sitting on our mountain, mocking me and the rest of the residents of Steamboat. It’s snowing and it is almost the middle of April, WTF?

2008-04-07T09:59:00.000-07:00

It’s the end of the season here in Steamboat, which means it is time to earn your turns and hike up the mountain if you wanna ride. That means snowshoes. I don’t have those and I don’t feel like hiking, so I guess I will have to drive down to A-Basin or something in order to get my runs in until I am out of Colorado. It’s continuing to snow and the forecast calls for snow followed by snow and then more snow. It’s enough to make me sick, it is just draining to wake up to grey skies every morning and see little white flakes cascade down. It’s April, weather! Get it together! I want to be by a pool tanning myself with a cold beer and/or margarita in my hand, worried about little else other than maybe how much SPF I have applied.

On the plus side, it is a half-day at work because of the employee party they scheduled in the middle of the day at 11:30. Don’t ask me to explain that one, or anything else the mountain does as it makes little sense to me, too. I think I am going to opt not to go to the party because I have an employee party for the bar tonight as well and apparently that is just a shit show so I have to be on my best behavior up ‘til then. I will probably just head home and kick it, take the shower I did not have time for this morning and maybe jerk off or something. What a day!

All the people at the bar had a party yesterday and I kept telling myself I would go and say hi since there would be a keg and all, but when it came down to it I found myself in my living room playing poker with no desire at all to go over there. I think it is because I just don’t feel like I was ever appreciated for what I did there. It’s not a big deal, I just think people should take the time to realize how much and how hard I was working for what I would consider less than fair earnings. I don’t want to sound ungrateful and I kept my mouth shut all season, but looking back on the experience I do not think I will be repeating it. Live and learn I guess.

Tonight should be interesting and I’ll probably tow my camera along just so I can document the shit show. I will more than likely make an early exit there too, since unlike most of my co-workers there, have a day job. Sigh. I wonder when I started growing up and why I can’t just revert back to my dumb, drunk 19 year old self sometimes…

2008-04-04T11:24:00.000-07:00

The sun is out today, that’s nice of it considering we are supposed to get snow the next 4 days. This winter has been especially long mainly because I have not experienced winter in like 14 years or something. Winter was officially epic when it was featured prominently on MTV’s the Hills, when Heidi went home to Crested Butte, Colorado. Now don’t get the wrong idea, I do not watch that hot garbage, but every now and then MTV sneaks up on you like a mugger in a dark ally and holds you hostage for a moment or two. I should know, I have been on MTV twice: Once on Room Raiders, and another time on High School Stories: Scandals Pranks and Controversies. I am not proud of either.

Anyway, the Hills did have some lovely shots of Crested Butte, which just so happens to be some amazing ski country that I highly recommend. As we near the 500-inch mark for the season snowfall, the entire western United States can breathe a sigh of relief because reservoirs will be filling up. Our season average is just over 330 inches, so this definitely qualifies as epic. Lake Powel has risen 50 feet this year and that is before the major melts! In these trying environmental times it is good to know that there are some high points, too. When all that snow finally does melt it will give way to an epic river season so if you are a white water enthusiast I suggest you dig out your kayak, raft, canoe or arm floaties.

Now that I am done advertising for adventure sports I got some other interesting news. After much consideration I have decided to move back to the city. As much as I love the small town atmosphere and all the friends I have met, it doesn’t compare to home in Phoenix. I have all my best friends and family there, so the decision was not as hard as you might think. I know I will come back to Colorado eventually, maybe on vacation or maybe to live, but I will. I will definitely miss the boat, though.

I’ve started the job search all over again, and I cannot possibly explain to someone who has not done it how absolutely exhausting it is. Writing and rewriting cover letters, tweaking resumes and adding references is just so not what I want to be doing with my free time. Maybe I should be like Suzie and take up dancing…but seeing as I am not terribly coordinated that doesn’t seem like a viable route. I refuse to move back to Phoenix with my sole job being a restaurant job: I went to college for a goddamn reason. That being said, I have officially given myself an exit date of the end of May, and I figure it is somewhat sensible. Here’s the general idea behind it:

1. By the end of May, working my current job, I will be able to put away anywhere from 3000-4000 bones. It doesn’t hurt that I will get three pay periods in may :)
2. By starting the job search now, there is a very real possibility I will have a job by then and therefore not lose any money.
3. My lease is up at the end of this month but I can extend it for one month to provide for relocation time.
4. I will get my security deposit and a nice fatty check from Sr. Bush because he fucked our economy so bad that I need to look for a job two months in advance, totaling about another grand or so.
5. By either having a new job or about 5000 to sit on, should provide me with enough of a cushion to get started in Phoenix.
6. I found a really kick ass 4 bedroom house (with 4 prospective roommates) with a pool and a bar that is right near the bars in Tempe, BONUS! Plus it allows pets so I can finally get my damn dog that I think I will name either Rondo or Jazz (please feel free to weigh in here).

Sound like good arguments? Maybe. I’ve convinced myself and that’s all that really matters. I just hope it all works out like I want it to, but if I am to save all that money it means I will have to go on my Spartan diet once more. Lots of sandwiches, raison-bran and protein shakes. My only luxury for the next two months will be 6-pack tall boys of PBR, priced fairly at $3.89.

P.S. tonight’s my last night at the bar, so I will have my evenings back to enjoy aforementioned PBR by the river during sunset in a camping chair with maybe a cigarette or two. Hell, I might even fish even though I hate to.

2008-03-31T11:51:00.000-07:00

Last night I am at the bar, nothing unusual, working…also not unusual. What is unusual is the drop off of business, but that can be attributed to the lack of tourists. We officially enter mud season in a week. Mud season is the off period between winter and summer, what normal people call spring, when all the snow melts and we have seasonal mud. I say seasonal because it lasts for the duration of spring until summer temperatures rise high enough to dry that nastiness up a bit. My white shoes are looking forward to that one.

Anyway, so living in a small town I have become accustomed to a certain quietness that comes with living in a town of 10,000. As a general rule of thumb people here do not use their car horns. VISITORS TAKE NOTE! WE DO NOT USE OUR CAR HORNS HERE! That being said I would like to direct this post to the asshole who used his at me last night.

As I just mentioned, you are an asshole. Horns are to be used to alert another driver of a potential accident to gain another’s attention. They are not, I repeat, NOT, to be used when to are too impatient to wait 30 seconds while I offer a friend who is leaving the bar a ride home when it is snowing heavily. I understand that your giant ass truck that enjoys strangling our planet has important things to do like spirit you away to the nearest convenience store where you can refill you 120 oz. Mega soda jug. Just chill. All it takes is a second to confirm my friends need a ride, another 20 for them to enter the vehicle and properly fasten their seatbelts, and maybe another 5 on top of that to get moving again.

During this time I do not expect you to get so irked by my friendship that you drive around my car in near whiteout conditions. When I merge back into the lane all of a sudden there is your Texas toast truck. Then I hear the horn again. This time I smile and cut you off because I know you will stop and if you don’t I have the right of way so fuck it. Much to my displeasure you try and pass me on the round about but when you try to speed up in 4 inches of snow your tires slide out. Nice job you fucking moron. Sometimes I wonder where people like you come from but then I remember that everything is bigger in Texas, except your patience.
I have been pushed to my limit this year on my distaste for Texas and last night may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. Why don’t people just have a little patience in this world? I know that almost everything is instantaneous but would it kill someone to wait as a courtesy to another while they help another? It shouldn’t. And if it does, your parents failed you.

2008-03-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

So now a bit of sad news. Recently a member of my family passed away. I use the term "family" loosely because it was actually a computer that died on me, sigh. My "little laptop that could" was given to me before I moved and finally breathed it last little operational breathe as it battled what I can only rationalize was cancer). Instead of booting up and getting ready to serve my computational needs, it just stares at me with a blank black screen, makes a faint blip and repeats this process indefinitely. Ah well, we had a good run I suppose. I knew this say was coming, I just wish I could have had a little warning as I just spent about 700 bucks on snowboarding things in anticipation of next season (with an attempt to squeeze in some time this season provided the expedited shipping is actually getting expedited). That money could have gone towards a new laptop. I now have to get my PC from Arizona out here pronto, but I don't want my parents to ship it to me because I know they will F that up by missing a cable or two thus rendering it useless. I am forced to conduct my webbings at work for the time being, not any real shock.

St.Paddy's was alright here in the boat. The crowds were drunk and rowdy, but something about not being in a large city this year made it a little disappointing. For example, in Phoenix, Flogging Molly played. There are 3 Irish bars all within the same vicinity in Tempe, two of which serve Boddingtons! If you have never had the privilege of drinking a Boddingtons's I suggest that you, you'll love me for it. I was stuck drinking bud light in green cans this year. The beer was still goldenish, not green. I chased Jameson with my roommate, avoided a 50 year old cougar that wanted my balls, laughed at my friend for having an obese female stalker and went home by 3:30. I had to work at 8. My roommate came home as I was leaving for work and apparently he got punched in the side of the head for being too from Boston or something. He was drunk and high and rambling so I moved past him and hurried to work as I was already 15 minutes late. At least there was not a giant layer of frost on my windows so I could just put the keys in and go.

Not too much else has changed. Still working every night and pondering life everyday. I was working the lifts last week and that gave me a ton of time to just reflect on everything this year which was good. What was not good was that I neglected sunscreen on my first day and as a result burned my face pretty nicely. I have gone through all the stages of a face sunburn; embarrassment, shame, redness, hiding, itching, flaking and now the best part...awkward tan lines where I was wearing my goggles. I'll post some pics to document this tragedy when I can but for now you will have to take my word at digital value. Good thing cancer doesn't run in my family (unless you happen to be a computer).

Spring officially starts tomorrow. I never knew seasons had official start dates. I assumed seasons started when it "felt" like it was _______. I wonder if this angers God to have arrogant little people tell Him what weather to provide, when. I envision this giant, celestial calendar with March 20th circled in big red ink. Maybe a Lisa Frank sticker there too, because all those stickers (from what I remember) remind me of spring; being all glittery and shiny. Spring in Steamboat is a bit of a misnomer because when everyone else is enjoying all the lush greenness that emerges, Steamboat suffers from torrential mud. I don't actually know if mud can be torrential, but I know rain can and rain produces mud, so the word must be interchangeable. The start of mud season has already begun and there have been several victims: My white kicks, my white Civic, my white skin. Basically anything that appears chaste and pure no longer does.

I am also having one of those days where I cannot type anything right the first time. Its quite annoying. Today wasn't bad, not by a long shot, just uneventful. I ordered some jeans online because I refuse to buy jeans from Wal-Mart. I don't have to work tonight but will probably end up at work during happy hour because they provide cheap libations since I pick up shit 5-6 nights a week there. I also need to do laundry but I hate doing chores when I know I have rare free time that I could spend doing nothing important. Drunken laundry never pans out the way I envision it in my head anyway. I typically ruin about 2 things, be them shirts or pants or a combination of the two, when I attempt laundry whilst intoxicated. I think I might actually pay for professional laundry services at some point because I despise doing laundry that much. I am much more content to just wear dirty, sometimes smelly, garments.

2008-03-12T19:34:00.001-07:00

Me on my way to work this morning, my baby in the background.

I didn't get to work the lifts this morning, so I had to wear these

But I wanted to be wearing these, my new boots. They're a bit stiff because they are new but they're meant to be soft.

Now what to drink when I am done with work? The king of beers or...

The Silver bullet? Refreshing, but I am just not in the mood.

Wine is always nice, but a little too civilized and hard to drink without company.

I learned my lesson with this stuff. Save it for the morning, when it really matters

This would be a day ender, tempting, but I am not ready to commit to that just yet

Overkill at it's finest

This bud is for me. Why? It's just easy to drink, not offensive and I have like 80 of them in my fridge for some reason. Time to settle in, enjoy my one night off from the bar and watch the Nugs kick the shit out of the Grizzlies. Now if only I could find someone to share all this booze with, then I'd be set.

2008-03-12T13:54:00.000-07:00

Of all the stupid tattoos I have seen in my life (and there have been many) there was one I saw last night that immediately demanded recognition as the worst, most pretentious tattoo I have seen in my life. The odd thing about it is that I do not know who to blame for this scarlet letter, the tattoo artist or the fool that wanted it.

Perhaps some context first. I was sitting in the bar, cleaning shit off of tables just like any other night. It was particularly slow that night, so all the staff was drinking heavily (myself included), buying rounds of shots to help pass the time. We all have varied tastes; some like me take it straight and dirty (Jameson), some like it a bit sweeter with less bite (Stoli O), still others desire to dress their drink up and make it more than it is (Jager bombs). Also, one girl drinks just tequila, which I can no longer do due to my extensive vacationing in and around Mexico. So when ten o'clock rolls around we are all sufficiently hammered, especially the bartender who is at about 17 shots at this point between the shots we bought him and the ones the patrons did, too. Most of that night is a blur, an unfocused image that I have to try and refocus. The man with the tattoo needs no focus.

He struts into the bar with his cowboy friends, maybe four of them in total. All are fairly large in build most likely due to a cycle or two of steroids. They look like the type of guy I used to see when I worked the graveyard shift at Gold's Gym. He is typically in his forties, balding, triangle-shaped, over aggressive and definitely divorced (usually more than once). I can remember conversations with men that involved what music was more intense to work out to. I would jest about listening to Liz Phair or some shit to see if I could get a rise out of them, but most just gave me blank stares.

Anyway so these guys stroll in. Immediately amongst his friends I pick this dude out because of his tattoo. His head is shaved and around his head he has a crown of thorns! I shit you not!! Around his stupid shaved head he has a mother fucking crown of thorns as if to say he is like Jesus. WHAT!?!? I have never seen something so incredibly, so blatantly ridiculous in all my life. What makes it even more terrible is the thought that this guy thought he was being totally awesome by rocking the thorns; showing how Christian he is, which is more than you! What a shame that people like him exist in our world. I bet he has his favorite psalm tattooed across his shaft.

2008-03-11T09:11:00.000-07:00

Adjusting to life post college is difficult at first. I almost got suckered into a life I did not want after I graduated from school, thought I was on the right track. I had myself a very nice condo, good car, a cat, a job that I hated but if I worked long enough at I might get promoted to some middle-management-nowhere-position and a flat screen TV. That's success right? FUCK NO.

I didn't want that life. I didn't want to be stuck in an office all day doing something, being somewhere, I hated. College promises even more than high school, when you cast away the last shreds of irresponsibility. People say that college is the time to act out, get it all out of your system before settling firmly into adulthood, but why? Why do you have to be responsible all the time. Why do people give you a look if you pound a drink at a bar and follow it up with a shot and a beer? Why do people have to be so locked into their roles that they cannot possibly see that there is an alternative to living and doing what everyone else does?

Nothing reminds me of this more than facebook. I see people doing what they are supposed to be doing through a digital window. I see it all the time. My core group of friends remain pretty much the same, Alecia still doing her thing, Trevor still doing his. Still drinking and smoking and abusing their bodies enough that I do not have to worry about them losing themselves. Then I look at people I casually knew, people who I would associate with but it would be a stretch to call them a friend. They are off doing what they are "supposed" to be doing; going to law school and getting married. Those events are a stopper on the bottle of life, meant to plug it up before it escapes and does something crazy like follow a dream. Those kids don't want to be lawyers, they want the money and privileges that come with being a lawyer. They want the condos and the fancy cars and the access to some shitty club where they can do enough blow to forget how miserable they really are. Their dreams have eroded and excuses arise as to why they can longer pursue them. That won't happen to me, at least not anytime soon.

One of my dreams was to be a professional snowboarder, maybe get a sponsor after a while. I remember back to when I rode my first lift, maybe 4 years ago in Big Bear, CA. I remember seeing kids tear down groomers and wanting to be able to do that. After a year here, I am not discouraged but encouraged. I look at where I started and how far I have come. Things I thought were impossible I can do with relative ease. New things look impossible and that's exciting. That nervous, stomach sinking feeling I get when I grab big air, when I hit the lip of the pipe, when I fall down a cliff...it all brings me closer to my goal and keeps me in touch with me. I did what others wanted for so long and now I am doing what I want. I work 65 hour weeks to live in a resort town, but I do it on my terms. I don't have to work two jobs, I get to work at a bar and meet wonderful people. I want to be out there at the pub, having a drink with the regulars; complaining about all the tourists. It just so happens that I get paid for it.

This post definitely echoes what Tony said in his latest. Things that were important in the 20th century simply aren't anymore. People who get it, people who make meaningful contact doing what they love, that's what matters. It does matter how we achieve it, it just matters that we try. We don't need money or fancy car, just a strong will; strong enough to withstand the constant defeatism that surrounds us from a previous generation. Yes, you all did fuck up. I love your failure though, because it shows me exactly how not to be. I will take off my elitist hat now, but only for a moment.

2008-03-09T23:22:00.000-07:00

Here's some pictures that are actually mine. I need to start taking more/putting them up instead of weird photos that are vaguely related to what I am writing about. Enjoy!

Me on the lifts, didn't want to look like a tool, but it just happened

Top of one of the lifts, Elkhead I think?

My backyard at sunset

Downtown after a particularly bad snowstorm

This is that snowstorm

My bar. It's getting razed in August so come visit!

Another view of the slopes

More to come when I get a chance.

2008-03-07T14:53:00.001-08:00

Every so often I have to excuse myself from my desk to go to the bathroom. This occurs two to three times a day, depending on how much water I drink (which is interdependent on how hung over I am). That reminded me to get a glass of water, by the way. I prefer when the bathroom that has only two urinals and one stall is empty. When it isn't it is just such a small and confined/awkward space. I am not claustrophobic but I am xenophobic (not really, but kinda) when in a bathroom. I like to do my business and get out. I hate when people feign small talk when you are holding your dick. Honestly, if you don't have the need to tell me when my hand is not wrapped around me genitals, then why do you feel the urge to break the silence when I am? This situation is made worse by someone being in a stall and doing a shout out, more or less. What's worse still is when someone is on the phone in the bathroom.

This rant is brought about by my most recent trip to the lavatory. While I was there there was a gentleman in the stall making heavy breathing noises. Who in the world gets winded when they take a shit? I was trying not to giggle, but that would have been the most appropriate response. Breath as heavy as you want when no one is in there, but when someone enters try and bottle that shit up, pun intended. I took extra time to wash my hands so I could see the gentleman who was making such a ruckus. I timed my exit perfectly, just as I was leaving he was exiting the stall and I flashed him the slightest hint of a smile. My smile said: I know you breath heavily when you shit you gross man, :)

I've been taking ten minute breaks about every hour to go walk around outside and enjoy the fresh air, really makes working not so bad. Neither does my daily screwdriver, but today the unthinkable happened...I RAN OUT OF ORANGE JUICE. This could have been easily prevented but I was foolish and squandered my OJ. I debated just taking a shot of vodka but in my denial of being in alcoholic, decided this would be a step to far. I don't HAVE to have a drink, but I prefer one. It's kind of like my policy when I fly, I don't have to have a drink on the plane, but I prefer one. It is always imperative that I have some cash on me when I fly so I can get my two screwdrivers and then a Heineken. The trick here is to convince the stewardess that you can have one more and because you know your limits that is why you are just having a beer. I do this for two reasons; the first I enjoy drinking and the fun that ensues. Second, I like to watch people around me react when I have a couple of drinks in a short amount of time. Some smile, some shun, and others are just curious. Small spaces make people weird.

I bring this up in light of me purchasing a plane ticket. I bought another ticket to Phoenix to go visit my friends and for my brother's 21st birthday. Should be a whole mess of fun. I am not flying out of Steamboat this time though, I'm going to drive to Denver and fly from there which saved me about $230. Stupid small towns. I chose Southwest despite the FAA violations because you can't argue with cheap. This puts double meaning in cheap for SW, but since they don't have any major accidents I'll take that risk, albeit it's a minimal one. Who knows, maybe I will even get a card from them saying how sorry they were for putting my life into jeopardy. I envision two scenarios if the plane does crash,

A) I survive and instantly become a tragic celebrity who boozes heavily with all the money the airline gives me to erase the horrific memories of the crash. I spend my time foolishly buying material objects to compensate for my emotional and gradually withdrawal from society until I am forced to go to rehab where I will ultimately learn to volunteer my time/money.

B) I die and someone I care about gets a big pile of money. Guilt eventually forces said person to go through scenario A.

Ding.

2008-03-04T16:00:00.001-08:00

Starting tomorrow I am going to be a liftee for the remainder of the ski season. This is great news because I still get my regular rate of pay (substantially higher than a liftee) and I will get to be outdoors during the best month to be outdoors! I get to take ski breaks, work shorter shifts, and generally just rock as we close the 07/08 season. The only downside I can foresee is that in order to work the lifts I will have to wake up crazy early, like 5 AM styles, so that is a major disappointment. I cannot get to my office at 8:30 and I live less than a mile away. As if that wasn't going to be hard enough for me, it is also that magical time of the year when this region of the United States springs forward (where time is concerned) so I will be losing one hour until I get used to things.

I miss living in Arizona where the time was always the same. Arizona didn't fuck with no clocks because Arizona kept it real and did not meddle with time-travel. Thus explains why Arizona, despite being real, has some of the dumbest kids in the nation. Unlike all the other 49 states in the Union which have successfully utilized time-travel; Arizona has not. On March 9, 2008 at 3:00AM in the morning I will call all my friends in Arizona and tell them about all the wondrous advances that have happened because they will still be stuck in March 9, 2008, 2:00AM. I must be careful not to change the course of history and forever alter the future, so I will just allude to those advances. Better safe than sorry. Please enjoy the extent of my computer aided drafting skills.

2008-03-03T14:30:00.001-08:00

So the big joke these days is what the weather will be like. Spring in Colorado is random as hell. Saturday it was a bit above 50 degrees, the warmest it has been since November! Then on Sunday the wind came with a big snow storm and dropped almost 2 feet, WTF? Now there is not a cloud in the sky and the temp is in the upper 20's...needless to say I am a bit confused. I want to throw on my sandals and skip around the snow-laden ground, but just when I think I can, I can't. Way lame.

I did not notice on Saturday that the birds were chirping again! The sound of birds only registers after it has been absent for months. I think if I was a bird I would choose to live elsewhere, the weather is just too unpredictable. Now Vultures, they know what is up. They fly endless circles around the desert and the only thing they need to know is that is hot and arid as fuck. Never changes, thus it is easy to adapt. Although being permanently thirsty/hungry would not be my choice situation. Or being horribly ugly and bald.

People started moving home this week from the resort as we begin to slow with the end of the ski season steadily approaching. It is a little sad to see some of my friends go. Some are all the way from Australia so I might not see them again, ever. I'd like to think I will eventually make it out there to Australia for some surfing or something. I have places to stay in Melbourne and Sydney, rumor has it. With their departure comes the arrival of Spring Breakers. It's funny to see the "fresh-faced college boys" as of my co-workers not so gently put it. Their fake IDs are great but it a town this small no one really cares. Makes me laugh at my old IDs and makes me wish I still had them. Alecia's dad still has his first fake ID and I remember the day he showed us. It had to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen and I cannot believe people were that stupid about identification back then.

He was from Utah, so he had some rocks in the background. Printed on the card were some vitals and that was it. He said the rock formations were the key element to its success. It was a piece of paper no thicker than a social security card. My favorite part was that the name on the card was not his, but he signed his own name on the bottom anyway. I do not think I have laughed that hard at a fake ID, ever. At the same time I was angered that when I was younger I had to go through so much bullshit and pay out the ass for my fake. It had to scan, it had to blacklight and it had to be the appropriate thickness so it would feel right and it cost me $150. His was free because he and his buddy made them in their garage. Mine was made with a stolen DMV machine that was later tracked to the kid and he was promptly arrested. Them's the breaks. Speaking of cops, a girl who I work with at the bar told me her friend got arrested for trying to transport 100 pounds of reefer from New York to L.A. She got busted on a routine traffic stop and now she's looking at serving 5-10, ouch. It makes me happy that while I knowingly spend my money in the black market from time to time, I never plan on making a living off of it. I am happy to pay a high premium for my unmentionables.

There is no order to this post. There has been no order to most of the posts in here. I should work on that. I should not write fragments. But I like fragments, grammar be damned. I speak in fragments often so I think it is more than appropriate. Writing is about voice, knowing what sample came from which person. My voice, however incoherent, is there I hope. My writing goal for the year, other than keeping up with this blog, is eliminating my abuse of the comma. I use it far too often and when I don't I usually produce a fragment. Full circle. I should steal a grammar book from a fifth grader so I can learn all the secrets without being overwhelmed while at the same time enjoying multicultural pictures of kids in generic colored shirts doing non-descript non segregational activities. That or go the OWL at Purdue. I cannot tell you how many times I used that site when writing MLA or APA format research papers. Notice how I started with birds and ended with birds in a different sense. I am a literary master!

2008-02-29T10:31:00.000-08:00

Dude fell six stories off of a hotel yesterday and died. Dude was only 24 years old, graduated high school the same year as me and was also an Iraq veteran. Dude didn't deserve to go out like that. A false sense of confidence is what killed him. He unhooked from his rope without a backup, walked over a patch of snow on the roof that broke, seperated from the snowpack, and carried him off the roof. Apparently he caught the rope but the ensuing snow from the roof knocked him off the rope where he fell to his death. Authorities announced him dead at the scene.

This has been the first "local" death here in Steamboat since I moved. In Phoenix I am sure like 8-10 fools fell off their roofs and died as a result of smoking meth up there and subsequently falling each day. Here, deaths are not that common so when they do happen everyone knows about it. The bar last night was abuzz with the death of this young man. Most people knew who he was, I did not. It was very interesting to see the contrast in patrons last night. Locals were very sullen, quiet, focusing on their drinks. Out of townees were loud, obnoxious, dirty and rude. A self reflective lense makes me feel guilty because I fear I may have acted like that at some point and not known what was going on aroud me. A big metaphor could relate this scenario to, I don't know, Iraq?

I don't really have a mind for politics, probably because my closest friends obsess over them. Its draining to listen to them bicker about why Republicans and Fox News suck; things I already knew. Content in their discussions, I abstain and only briefly pick my head up to say the occasional, "you think? Uh huh? Makes sense". I find these limited answers do not offend them and they do not invite them to continue addressing their point. I'll talk shop when things matter to me; either when I am homeless or old.

I don't care that Hill-Dog's campaign is looking for legal loopholes in case she loses to Barack in Texas. I don't care that McCain could win the most likely to be Ronald Reagan who traveled back in time and stole another's identity when he figured out he was going bat-shit crazy award. And I really don't care who is supporting who. I just want to cast my vote for Barack and be done with it. My reason for voting for him, his name has bar in it. That statement should anger just about anyone who cares about politics, heh.

I realize the irnoy is saying I do not care for political discussion and the write a blog post on political discussion. My life is very ironic, this is but an example of this. I would however, like to take this opportunity to thank the government for the free money i receieved this morning. Something about seeing your account with a trasnfer that says U.S. Department of Treasury makes you smile. That, coupled with a check in the mail with my name on it in the amount of 300-600 bucks, makes this a time of great success! Mr. Bush, you are still an idiot and your Presidency will still be a failure, but thanks for the dollas. I will blow them like you want me to, mainly on domestic products (alcohol). So, thanks I guess, for supporting my habit?

2008-02-26T16:03:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I tapped into my psychic potential. Don't worry, I cannot read people's minds or levitate objects, yet. I did, however, affect the future just by thinking about it! If you recall, yesterday's post was about how much disdain I had for one of my roommates. Towards the end I hinted that I would soon be rid of him...well guess what?!?!

As I was writing that post yesterday Mark got fired! YES! Some may say it is coincidence, but if I had only written about him earlier I might have been rid of him for sometime now. Don't get me wrong, it sucks that he got fired, no one deserves that (although blowing phat rails all night and not making it to work on time in the morning is certainly asking for it), but it is such a good thing for my psyche. I dreaded being home alone with him and would either retreat to my room or avoid my house all together. After I heard the news I did the only thing I could think; celebrate!

Celebrate means that I went to the grocery store and bought food. This may not seem like much of a celebration but when you have an asshole roommate that gets high and eats your food in the middle of the night, it is like New Years Eve. I have had much the Spartan diet the past few weeks to deter Mark from eating what meager food I do have. Think turkey sandwiches with mustard and cheese, raisin bran (the knock-off), eggs (cage-free, ethical reasons there) and salsa. Water to drink. Sure I was being decently healthy, but there was no variety in my diet because of him. Last night I spent 100 bucks at King Soopers (Kroger) and enjoyed every second of it. My cupboards are now full of delicious treats, fruits and vegetables, honest to god ingredients to cook things, and a variety of fluids!

Now if only I had time to eat above mentioned food, then my life would be perfect. I have to work six nights at the bar this week. That, coupled with my 40 per week day job, and well...you get one tired kid. It's good to be busy, just a little much right now. I'm getting up earlier to boot in an attempt to get the maximum days of snowboarding in before the season ends. After they close the mountain I still plan to illegally hike it on the weekends and hit the back country and what not, but it is always nice to get a lift up.

Speaking of the season ending, I am in the hunt for a decent mountain bike. I am going to start downhill mountain biking this summer, so feel free to point me in the right direction there as I have no idea what the hell I am doing in that arena. Big snowboarding sale tomorrow, I'm looking for a Libtech 1986 Mullet, some Rome bindings and maybe an extra set of Oakley goggles? Too much to ask for? Probably. I'll take 1 outta 3 though.

2008-02-25T14:31:00.000-08:00

Tall Tale:

noun
An entertaining and often oral account of a real or fictitious occurrence: anecdote, fable, story, tale. Informal yarn. See words.
An untrue declaration: canard, cock-and-bull story, falsehood, falsity, fib, fiction, inveracity, lie2, misrepresentation, misstatement, prevarication, story, tale, untruth. Informal fish story. Slang whopper. See true/false.

I have two roommates, one is named Mark and one is named Corey. Mark is 30 and Corey is 24. Corey is working at ski school just during the season before returning to Yellowstone to be a park ranger. Mark is working as a liftee for the season and then after that he is working at a liquor store. I like one of my roommates, can you guess which?

I do not like Mark. He is 6'8", about 160 pounds and is addicted to Cocaine. I know he is addicted to cocaine because this is a small town, word travels fast. It certainly doesn't hurt my case when he comes home in the middle of the night on a work night and starts slamming things around as if he is the only person who lives in the house. He once tore down an entire wall covered in wrapping paper (unrelated X-Mas décor) because he could not score one evening. Score as in purchasing drugs, he has yet to score with a lady. This man is just a complete and aimless sap. He has such a violent temperament that it is impossible to engage him in meaningful conversations, so I don't. I limit myself to one or two words responses such as: Yea? No way. Really? That's cool. Good work. Sure. I find I can get through almost anything he asks me with these responses.

I wish it were something surface level that really got to me about this guy. I try and look past the fact that he eats with his mouth wide open, smacking his lips and exclaiming mmmm, oh man that's good. He does this repeatedly, but it's a fucking hungry man dinner! It's not good, it's killing you! When he cooks its worse. I do not know how he has food to eat when he cooks because it is all over the kitchen. Sauce is spilled across the stove, pots with grease up and over the side sit on top. Spoons that he uses to stir he sits directly on the countertop. It's filthy and disgusting. He adds at least a stick of butter to most everything he makes and drinks about 2.5 glasses of whole milk with every meal. It is safe to say his diet repulses me. In the morning he always makes bacon, leaves the pot and heads out to work. His arteries will get the better of him, fairly soon too. When I told my step dad about this fellow he looked at me and said, "well when have you ever seen an old, tall guy?" Good point.

Whenever he sees a hot girl, whether in real life or TV (the more common scenario) he takes off his glasses and says he is clearing a spot for her. That, or he just says, "she can sit on my face". Ewww. Who talks like that at 30? I didn't talk like that when the only thing I ever thought about was sex, about 10 years ago in middle school. He is also a pathological liar. I wonder if he knows I know how full of shit he is. My other roommate, Corey, and I constantly laugh when he is done telling a story. We call them Tall Tales.

It's just him at the core, not the constant stupid shit that I put up with, that pisses me off about him. He claims to like the Packers but he knows nothing about them. The only name he knows is Brett Farve. I loathe fair weather fans, they disrespect the sports they claim to love. He'll go as far as to make bets for the Packers, and, does not have the money for simply because he is from Wisconsin. That's all well and good when you make more than 9 bucks an hour, but when you lose and don't pay? Get real. It wasn't even me he bet against, but he welched all the same. I just know he would have wanted to collect immediately had he won. He probably was just looking for another 8Ball because he blows through his so damn fast. You can always tell the nights that he is all coked out because he sleeps in the living room in a reclining leather chair that says "Miller Racing" and snores inconceivably loud. Still in his clothes, maybe a shoe is off, then gets mad when I inevitably wake him on my way out. I just remind him that he has a bedroom and leave.

The upside to the living situation is that I am almost free of him. We live in the employee housing provided by the resort. In order to live there you have to be employed by the resort. He is seasonal and I am full time. He makes claims that he is transferring to a summer job, but I have it on good authority that all of his co-workers hate him for the same reasons I do. The odds of him getting another job are low. So low that hopefully he will be forced out of my life rather than me bludgeoning him with his own stupid, extra long, skis.

2008-02-22T15:54:00.000-08:00

My immediate boss has been gone the last two days on vacation and since she is the one that I turn to when I run out of things to do, I am just basically on autopilot right now. That means I get to think about pointless things, such as the best way to conclude an email.

Sincerely
It's not a bad choice, just a little dated. Sincerely makes me feel like I am writing to a pen pal or something. I had a pen pal for like 2 months in Mexico. I think his name was Jesus and I think he lived in Cuidad Obregon. I visited him once and the only thing I can remember of note was all the graffiti. Not that it was bad, just that it was funny. American slang was spelled phonetically so people could capture that same glorious sound, FUK! Sincerely just seems way to impersonal without putting any though into being impersonal. If one wants to appear impersonal than one should make an obvious effort to do so. Sincerely, no thanks.

Thanks
Thanks for what? Doing what I had asked you to do because it is your job? Maybe, I will assume you are thankful, would work, but not thanks. The best part about ending an email with thanks is that person that sends a reply reading you're welcome. Apparently some people (hinting at an older generation here) don't understand the pointlessness that is a digital welcome. It clutters up my inbox. You're welcome, while polite, is not welcome. (As I wrote this post someone replied with thank you from their Blackberry, hahaha)

Cheers
I am a fan of this one, but I admit I do feel guilty when I use it. I'm not British. Sometimes when I am drunk off a few too many pints I have an annoying habit of speaking with a horrible British accent, but this does not entitle me to use their words. Americans do not say cheers, we say something lame that only seems cool for about a decade like see you later alligator. Cheers is classical, it has stood the test of time. See ya in a while crocodile has not.

Regards
I use this a lot in my business emails. The lazy man's way of saying take care. Take care is inefficient as it uses 2 words. Why use 2 words when you can better sum up the same emotion with one word? I used to think that if I wrote a 10 page paper in high school I would get an A because it was 10 pages. I got a B+ because the teacher likely read 1 page and said fuck this. College taught me the importance of summarization. 10 pages should have been 2, 3 at best.

XOXO
This is not an ending, it is a sequence of letters. Tony Pierce took a survey awhile back to see what people thought each letter corresponded to, a hug or a kiss. Had I answered his survey I would have said the X stands for X, and the O stands for O. If I was going to send hugs and kisses to someone I think I would just conclude my letter with a picture of two people embracing. A picture says a thousand words anyway right?

Goodbye
Who ends an email with this? Maybe your grandma, but that's about it. I think people don't use it because it is too final, like this will be my last correspondence to you ever. Period. It could be quite funny to end all my emails with goodbye to see the responses that I get, if any. Goodbye just sounds like a suicide note, all you have to do is add "world" after it and voila, suicide.

-
The dash. My preferred way of exiting a conversation. You can say so much without saying anything at all. A dash implies that's it, the end. It would look silly if you wrote "the end" at the end of your email but a dash pulls this off masterfully. Did you know you cannot italicize a dash, I didn't until this post. I figured there would be a slight angel towards the right side of my page.

As a side note, can you italicize letters to the left? I keep trying to imagine that and when I do my head keeps bending to the left, hah. I need something to do...

2008-02-21T13:08:00.000-08:00

This is a test of the emergency Chuck blogcast system from his new blackberry. In the event of a real blogcast there would be nonsensical thoughts on subjects that matter little to you or anyone else. This concludes our emergency blogcast.

2008-02-21T11:17:00.000-08:00

Oh before I forget. You know all those people who say that God doesn't exist and that they need proof to believe in Him? Well I have proof, in fact, so do they. Lindsay Lohan posed nude. Hah, God does exist!

2008-02-21T11:09:00.001-08:00

I Share the optimism expressed by Shaq after the defeat to the Lakers last night. As a testament to his nickname, Big Aristotle, Shaq was elated over his most recent defeat to the Lakers. If you watched the game you could tell that Shaq was learning, and quickly, how to play with the Suns. Barring the unfortunate clobbering of Raja Bell, Shaq played a great game. It must have been hard to for Shaq to put into play what he learned from practicing with the Suns in a game setting. The first half he was a bit rusty, scoring only 4 points, but he was making things happen. Some ferocious blocks, some timely rebounds and a couple keen passes allowed Amare to do his thing, excel. It was great to see the Suns playing with intensity and genuinely having fun, so too, were the Lakers.

The second half showed the emergence of the old Shaq. He racked up 10 points, more blocks, more rebounds and dove for the ball like he was in his first NBA game. When all was said and done he had played 29 minutes. To all the people that said it wouldn't work with the Suns, it did. Decidedly. Some will say that a loss to L.A. proves that this was a bad deal, but I say give it time. Let Shaq settle into the tempo, let him up his minutes and let him understand his position relative to his supporting cast. If Shaq can play two halves like he did the second then Phoenix will certainly be the team to beat. I think it is certainly possible when you look at how Shaq played, better as the game progressed. Apply that to the season and it makes sense that Shaq will only improve with time. Now if only his terrible free throw could be improved. I accept that Phoenix will be good for him, but not miraculous.

When I look at a team like Phoenix I am filled with hope. Shaq brings such positive energy with him, you can see it in their play. Sports Illustrated's Phil Taylor wrote an article about how the Suns are no longer enjoyable to watch with the acquisition of Shaq. Is he for real? At what point during the 124-130 nail-biter did you not enjoy yourself you hack?! I was working at the bar last night and almost everyone there (keep in mind I am in Colorado) was glued to the game, watching every shot, every dribble, arguing every call. That was tremendous basketball last night. The Western Conference continues to get tighter and tighter with Phoenix's loss last night. Friday night, when Phoenix plays host to the Celtics, we will see how the new defensive Suns look.

What irritates me about all the professional sports writers is that they constantly claimed Phoenix would never win a championship because they could not play defense and had no post presence. When Phoenix makes a move to get those very things, now Phoenix won't win a championship because they lost their "style". Anybody from Phoenix who loves the Suns can tell you that their Run 'n' Gun "style" has been evolving for about three years now, Shaq did nothing to alter it (as evidenced by last night's high scoring game). If what the writers say is true, then why does Coach Mike D push for the trade the entire time? He realized more than anybody that his team was changing and he made a play to get the right piece at the right time.

The Suns remind me of the Houston Rockets in the mid-to-late 90's. They started to acquire old, supposedly washed-up players like Barkley and Drexler and made some great playoff runs, even getting Drexler his ring. I think deep down, fans of the league were pushing for the Rockets during those times, just like I think now people are pushing for the Suns. Look at what Phoenix has done for Hill. When I see Hill playing like he did when he was in Detroit it shows me something special, that Phoenix is a special team. When I see Shaq playing with fervor, it tells me the same thing.

Shaq's smile says it all, Phoenix will compete for the title, and he is going to help give the deserving Suns their 'ship. Hell he even shaved for his big debut.

2008-02-19T09:25:00.000-08:00

I am without a cell phone yet again. I have never had such a run of bad luck involving phones. To my credit, I have never lost or broken a phone up until this year. Then the winds of change blew in and destroyed my perfect record of cell phone responsibility. Last night I went to flip open my old, but trusty, Motorola Razor and what should happen? The top fell off. All of the praise I ever offered that phone at any point during it's life has been withdrawn and replaced with obscenities. I looked at my phone, two pieces in my hand, and did the only thing reasonable; I hucked both into the river in the backyard out of frustration. After a night to reflect on my actions I came to the conclusion that I should apologize to the fishes who live there, because more than likely they will not appreciate the battery fluids that will probably leak. I promise to try and toss a fisherman into the river at some point fishies, to make amends for my transgression.

The irony to the situation is that I think my phone knew I was jumping ship. I had just finished ordering a new Blackberry Pearl from Verizon (not AT&T, which is my current service) complete with a new number, I.e. new identity. Maybe I broke the Razor's heart. Maybe Motorola engineered a shitty phone designed to get the money of every impressionable middle-20's-something college student. Maybe I am a tool. Or maybe, just maybe, that phone was better than I give it credit for. I doubt it though. Tomorrow the dawn of new cellular age is upon me, curtsey of FedEx and their miraculous free 2-day shipping policy.

The weather is too nice to be ignored so I am taking a break later to go riding. I wanted to get up earlier so I would not have to stay late at work tonight but I was irresponsible last night. Getting in touch with my middle school self, I bought a 12 pack of Pacifico, 2 limes, and planted myself firmly in front of my Xbox 360 and played Assassin's Creed all dumb night. Initially I just wanted to kill some medieval fools and go to bed at a responsible hour, say midnight. Well, I found myself trying to understand the really, really, bad plot. 12 turned into a little after 2 in the morning and just when I thought I had come to the end of the game, CURVEBALL! More things to do. I looked towards the microwave (the only nearby clock due to lack of phone), squinted and realized there was no longer a 1 in front of the 2 and rationed I should go to bed. I pounded 2 more Pacificos, watched some NBA all star highlights and went to bed around 3 in the morning. Whoops.

It was harder to get up at 8 this morning than I had planned, but I still managed to do it, albeit really slowly. A shower was a foregone conclusion this morning, a screwdriver was not. I pulled from my glass of OJ and Sky and quickly brushed my teeth, gathered up my snowboard gear and was on my way to work. From inside the outside looks deceptively warm with the sun at full blast. The windows whisper lies of 50 degrees. Actual temperature: 12 degrees. I rolled the windows down in my car and said fuck it, I want to enjoy this. In my mind it was 70 and there was a beach to my left and my right going down the PCH.

I'm taking my camera up to snap some photos of the lovely area. Now that President's weekend is finally over all the gapers and their families have gone home so I can once again enjoy the slopes. The only other peak time will be during spring break, but that means lovely ski bunnies and bros. I will take the former but not the latter.

2008-02-18T09:32:00.000-08:00

I have been in a weird mood lately, and it is hard to say why. I've been sick over the weekend; a result of a welcome case of strep. There are two possible culprits, a girl in my office who recently got over being sick, or a girl in the bar that I work at that baby-sits. Either way, both them were sick and I was lucky enough to be stricken with something. The upside to all that was that I had to stay home from work for 2 days, which then rolled over to my weekend, so there's the downside. I was really looking forward to getting some time on the mountain but when I tried to ride on Sunday I got winded and exhausted after one run and decided it for the best that I retire.

Despite me being sick I did manage to get a lot done. I managed to get a huge weight off my back and it feels a lot easier to breath now. Days are again filled with anticipation and the dread of tomorrow has ceased. I'm still looking for a balance but I know I will strike it eventually. In positive financial news, I filed my taxes and because I am poor the government gave me a rebate of 1300 bucks! Thanks Uncle Sam. The plan is to save as much of that money as possible for my road trip back to Phoenix in May, with a possible detour to California, Vegas, or Mexico. I don't see myself really dipping into that money too much until then as the only real things to buy here in Steamboat are snowboarding gear and alcohol, both of which I have plenty. With regard to the alcohol, I have taken up drinking in the morning...just one drink. I find that a double shot screwdriver works far better than a cup of coffee or energy drink does. I tell myself it is better for me than filling myself with endless amounts of caffeine and ultimately leading to a mid-day slump. That or I am alcoholic. The funny thing is that I am pretty sure I learned this lesson with my family during the holidays.

Spring is beginning to pierce the clouds finally. There have been more partly sunny days as of late and I am thankful for it. The winter is a great time of year, the peaceful quiet that blankets the ground in unison with the snow was welcome, and soon its disappearance will be, too. I think living in a place with perpetual sun makes you take for granted how beautiful the outdoors is. The thermostat crept above 40 this weekend, briefly, and I could swear people's spirits crept up with it. I remember one time when I was in Chicago and it was the first warm day in March and the whole of the city emptied into the parks and waterfront. I wish I had a camera then. Children were playing in fountains, Navy Pier was bustling, the only thing off was that the Cubs weren't playing. I'm looking forward to that atmosphere because I know it is fast approaching, groundhogs be damned. The river is beginning to thaw out and will start running again which means the return of the beavers who are a friendly lot. I want to be outdoors with my shirt off sitting in a lawn chair looking out on to the river listening to some good music sipping on a cold beer. I don't want a watch or a cell phone, just good company and maybe some sunglasses, depending on which way I am facing.

I got a taste of that when I went to Phoenix last week to say hi to all my friends and lady liquor. The weather was perfect; sunny with temperatures in the mid 70's. Shorts, t-shirt and sandals...yes. It was great to see everyone who I miss a ton. We took in a Sun's game, some beer darts, a keg on Saturday and good times all the way 'round. The escape from the cold was too short, but any longer would have been too much.

I just heard a new-age music remake of the "Jem and the Holograms" theme...AWESOME

2008-01-31T10:27:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I fell off the wagon for a bit there, just like Lilo.

So, LOST finally starts tonight. I waited eight months for my most favorite of TV shows to start to almost answer my questions. I hate that I fell victim to such a predictably stupid formula, but I love the rewards that it brings towards the end of the season. I have never really been obsessive over a TV show before, I can usually show some decent restraint over missing an episode of, say, South Park. But LOST is the ultimate water cooler TV show, everyone always buzzes about what happened the last 5 minutes of a show that lasts roughly 42 (maybe closer to 90 with the season premier, but whose counting?). So far, every friend that I have forced to watch the first season has fallen victim to the same Burmese tiger trap. They’re hooked.

I can remember when I let the entire first season pass me by, as it was airing on ABC. I was doing things, what, I’m not sure, but it could not have added up to much as I cannot remember it. Chances are that I spent a great deal of time with my three friends, Bud, Coolers and Miller: The occasional visit to uncle keystone when the funds were low, maybe the debate of slumming it with grandpa natty or Milwaukee, or when times were good, my European cousin Heine. Either way, I missed the entire first season. The girl I was dating at the time would always set her watch to it, and I mocked her mercilessly for it. It seems only fitting that I would become ensnared, no?

My roommate, Trevor, had borrowed the first season box set from a friend and had planned on watching it, but never got around to it. In Mesa house, college was not really a priority. There was a good week where I was not feeling up to snuff (due to heavy drinking the previous night, each subsequent day) and decided it best not to go to school. Rather I would stay home, booze, and pop in a DVD. Boredom and curiosity got the best of me and I picked up the box set to LOST, season 1. I popped in the DVD, unscrewed my 40, sat in Alecia’s father’s old brown chair and began what would eventually become an epic journey. The first episode did not hook me, but it did have me thinking. What a cool concept for a show, they could have gone all Lord of the Flies with this thing, but instead they focus on how all the people are connected (kinda like Magnolia, except Tom Cruise is not on the island). As the season progressed I watched each episode back to back, my record being two discs in one day. I foolishly thought I would get answers, but instead the questions kept coming.

Season two I followed on TV, watching each and every week at the appointed time. I am pretty sure I only missed two or three episodes, but they were crucial because the entire time I wanted to know what the fuck that little button did. How could a button replace all the characters and their drama? This is probably the part where I started telling/raving to my friends about how great LOST was. This is also the season where my favorite character(s) were introduced, Desmond and Echo. I did not know Desmond was my favorite character at the time, but I really digged his Scottish accent. Soon, my friends started to tune in, one even bought the first season and I agreed to watch the bulk of the episodes with him. I caught new things, subtle hints that the producers are so keen on inserting. It enriched my second season of LOST, which had an amazing ending: The button was not pushed in time!

I would have to wait about 6 months to find out what happened, but this time I was not joking around with my LOST viewing for season 3. I had a Tivo, and I was not going to miss another episode. The first grouping of episodes focused on others, and then briefly took the time to kill one of my favorites (rest in peace eacho’s character, you were awesome and had one of the most creative characters in recent television history) before going away for two months. Then the latter part of season three came and kicked the show into high gear. Now, it seemed, there was a sense of purpose for the show. All the conflicts so far, all the drama, really was just a giant exposition for what is about to happen tonight.

And tonight, when I should be sitting comfortably in my house, waiting for the season premier, I will be working at the bar! Dammit! I will have to wait till tomorrow to download the episode off of itunes in the morning. I will have to show restraint not to look at the episode synopsis, not to look into what might have happened and what new questions are being asked. It feels like an impossible task, but one that I will have to attempt. I am sorry LOST, I thought I was a good fan.

2008-01-24T16:18:00.000-08:00

What do you do with a communications degree from ASU? Well today I programmed a cow tour into our computer system. A means to an end I guess. I’ll never be rich and successful with my current job, but I just may be able to scrape together a simple life here, in time. As long as my glass is filled and my friends are constant then I find myself asking for very little these days.

2008-01-24T08:59:00.001-08:00

Does anyone remember the AT&T of old? Remember how comforting it was to pick up your receiver and hear a dial tone that sounded superior to all the other dial tones? It was as if their dial tone was a note higher, a note brighter than the rest. The golden age that AT&T saw came crashing down with the advent of cell phones. In order to right a sinking ship, AT&T sold their wireless contracts to Cingular, who in turn sunk that ship, salvaged it and sold it for scrap back to AT&T. Like the mighty Colossus of Rhodes, this scrap was melted down into lesser things and distributed throughout the world. An echo of greatness is all the remains of the giant.

This brief lesson in history should hopefully shed some light onto my current cell phone situation. Here in Steamboat, AT&T does not offer service. We are too remote for them to worry about us. Rather than view Steamboat as the largest town in northwest Colorado that has a major tourist population from December through April, AT&T views us as an unviable market. This translates into me having to “borrow” time off of other company’s towers and satellites in order to place a call. I can call and send messages to people, that’s it. Forget that my phone can jump on the internet and see what is happening in the world. Don’t pretend like my phone has a camera that I can take pictures with and send to my friends. My phone, despite all of its wonderful gadgetry, has been reduced to my first cell phone, the Nokia 3395. Don’t pretend for one minute that this was not one of your first cell phones, too. If you were born in the mid-to-early 80’s then you KNOW this phone.

Don’t get me wrong. That Nokia was probably the best phone I ever had. Probably you, too. It was a tank. Superior reception. Zero dropped calls. Never broke when dropped. The problem is that my new cell phone was not built like that Nokia, so it is like that Nokia in functionality without being that Nokia in dependability. Boo for me.

I called AT&T to see if I could negotiate with them on how to end my contract. Unlike them, Verizon has the foresight to see Steamboat as a land of opportunity, hence them being the only major national cell phone service provider in town. The grass is greener on the Verizon side, and I want in. There is a policy in place that states that if I move to an area in which AT&T does not offer service I can cancel with no obligation. This would be awesome, except for the fact that I got my cell phone forever ago and because of this fact alone, my mother is the account holder with me listed as the primary user. My mother would need to live here, too, for me to cancel with no obligation. Much to my dismay, AT&T informed me that the only way I could end my contract with them (forget the five years of being a loyal customer) was to pay a $175 early termination fee. Thanks guys. Hearing my displeasure, the operator offered me another option. I could transfer the line to myself for a small fee ($18 to be exact), put a $400 deposit down and then cancel the line. I could then be eligible (not guaranteed) to receive my deposit back in several months. Thanks? The operator actually thought she was helping me with this option. Sigh. In the end I will more than likely cave and pay the $175, assured that I never have to deal with AT&T and their customer service ever again. In retrospect, $175 does seem like a small price to pay for that.

The issue will have to wait regardless. I have a ski race today, my first ever, wish me luck.

2008-01-23T15:59:00.000-08:00

Right before I leave work, I typically check the news one last time just to make sure I have my fingers on the pulse of America. The usual fare is economic worries, China trying to kill our children with lead-based toys or what’s current in Britney Spears life. Imagine my surprise when I log on to cnn.com and see the headline, “Heath Ledger dead at 28”. It’s one of those headlines where you just kind of stare at it and re-read it 5-10 times before the message finally sinks in. It’s not an emotional feeling when you read it, rather one of bewilderment.

Now this may be insincere but after I finally understood what I was reading my thoughts focused on one thing, does this mean the Dark Knight won’t be released as promised (Heath Ledger was the Joker)? Batman Begins is arguably one of the best superhero movies to have been produced and now there’s a chance of a ^more^ delayed sequel? Don’t get me wrong, I feel for the guy dying, but a great sequel dying is equally as tragic. I quickly asked the guy behind me in my office what his thoughts were and to my relief he told me that they had already finished filming and were in editing currently. After a huge sigh of relief I confessed my immediate thoughts to him only to be met with laughter and the admittance that he, too, thought that at first. Reassured and no longer in panic mode I decided it was time to read the article and get past the headline.

I know people have a tendency to think the best of people, but an overdose on sleeping pills? I don’t think so. Who overdoses on sleeping pills accidentally? There are clear instructions on every bottle; barring some kind of allergic reaction or genetic disposition to the chemicals contained within how could one accidentally overdose on them?

“I haven’t been sleeping well at all lately, so I am going to take 20 pills, that’ll bring some Z’s!”

Really? Really?! Get a clue people, this was intentional. It doesn’t take a forensic scientist to tell you that. That being said, it could be an interesting episode idea for a Law and Order episode, where a prominent young actor “accidentally” overdoses on sleeping pills only to be discovered towards the end of the episode that it was the jealous friend, with less success, who poisoned him out of spite. Sam Waterston could crack him in no time. Actually, I think there was a Law and Order episode like this, probably two.

I won’t speculate as to why he did it, it’s not that important. No one can change what happened and for whatever reason this man thought the world best without him. Our celebrity obsessed culture should look upon this as a lesson to reach out to those who may put up a façade of happiness, but probably won’t. The real irony is that people will keep popping pills to prevent themselves from feeling.

This story did sadden me, but for a different reason than most. When I watch the Oscars this year and look upon all the faces of actors we lost in 2007, one will not be a surprise. I’ll see Heath ledger’s face (hopefully not from the Patriot) and think what surprise could have been mine, but with a story this big there’s no way that was ever going to happen.

2008-01-22T09:41:00.000-08:00

I think I have been to Texas once. I think it was around thanksgiving and I think I was in El Paso, but I cannot say that with any certainty. I do remember not liking neither Texas, nor the drive it took to get there. From that day forward my prejudice towards Texas has grown, albeit at a slow rate. Something about having so much pride in a state unnerves me. Maybe it’s because I grew up in Oregon, where we are happy to be left alone in the rain. Maybe it’s because I grew up in Arizona, where we are happy to borrow Kokopellis and call it culture. Maybe I don’t like Texas because when Texans travel they travel in packs, like locusts. They swarm and consume everything that is beautiful leaving you asking how this could have happened.

Case in point: Last night at the bar the Texans were in full force. Don’t ask me how all of them knew one another, but they did. Don’t wonder why they all wear cowboy hats. Definitely don’t ask me why they need to wear designer cowboy boots when the roads are full of ice. DO ask me why one Texan figures it would be a good idea to bring his acoustic guitar into a bar featuring live, paid-for, music and host a sing along.

Everyone knows that guy that has to bring out his acoustic guitar during a party and start plucking some strings (usually detuned E’s and F’s because they are different and sound “pretty”), but this guy took it to a new extreme. Personally, I blame his friends who have not shamed him enough by now. Due to their lack of action, this guitar-touting, toilet of a person now has the confidence to carry his guitar and setup shop wherever he pleases. I also blame women, who swoon over the simplest of cords and the twangiest of voices because some guy can do something foolish and show his sensitive side. The ultimate irony is a rough and tough cowboy who wears his heart on his sleeve right? His one saving grace was that I did not hear him play a rendition of a pro-Iraq war melody, but I assume he is working on one.

I wouldn’t take issue with the guy if he played music for music’s sake, but he doesn’t. He uses his guitar like a phallace with strings and bastardizes the instrument. It’s like date rape without the drug.

2008-01-21T14:49:00.000-08:00

I heard this rumor once, “If you don’t use it you will lose it.” I very seldom use my pinky toe for things other than tickling, but it seems to still be there.

While not credible, this rumor is frightening when thought about and so for that very reason I am going to start writing, everyday, at least once a day…call it a very late, very unoriginal new year’s resolution. I am taking the exercise approach to it. At first it will be painful, tedious and boring…slowly, presumably around week three, this will become habit and my gains will grow faster than my lethargy. One of my co-workers had a much better, more simple new year’s resolution, to eat more turnovers. I like this idea because it is rewarding and easy to accomplish. The following morning after he told me about his resolution I made it a point to get an apple turnover for breakfast and let me tell you something, he is going to have great success with his resolution; it’s like pie for breakfast! Who doesn’t like a nice warm pie?!

A nice warm anything would be nice right now. The recent cold snap that has struck most of the U.S. has not ignored poor little Steamboat Springs. It’s a balmy 16 outside currently, but before that the high was 8 with a low of -16. Being from Arizona I was not prepared at all for what -16 feels like. When you open the door the cold air assaults you with blitzkrieg efficiency. The nostrils are the first to go, your first breath causes them to run and subsequently freeze. As the air travels through your body your lungs begin to hurt and a cough is almost guaranteed. Next the fingers begin to burn about 20 seconds into the ordeal with numbing sensation after about a minute.

This is the only reason people should have a remote start for their car. In Arizona, if you have a remote start for your car you are a tool. Here, you are a god among lesser mortals because it saves you 5 to 10 minutes of character-building agony. There is no finer feeling then stealing away into your warm car on a frigid winter’s day. To accomplish this I have to start my car 15 minutes prior to when I want to leave. As it stands, I use a Frisbee to scrape my windows clean because I broke my ice scrapper on a frozen floor mat that I thought would shed its ice if beaten. I was wrong. I also thought the snow trapped inside my car would melt sometime, but its presence continues to defy me. Same can be said for my wheel wells, which have less that a centimeter of clearance before a solid block of ice is caressed by my big, black, size 14 (standard for Honda Civics) tires. Everyone has advised me to take my car to a carwash and remove said ice, but I am kind of interested to see if my car can last longer than the ice does. I thought I was halfway through winter, but apparently I have to wait till the end of January before I can say that. It’s a good thing I love snowboarding as much as I do. With all the cons that come with this crappy weather, my one pro far outweighs all those annoyances.

Spirits are high and constantly consumed, despite all the low temperatures. To make ends meet and put a little extra coin in my stretched pocket I have taken to bussing at a local bar. Not the most glamorous, best paying job in the market, but they let me drink while I pickup/deal with people’s trash, something I typically had to do prior to my other restaurant jobs. Substance abuse is key in the service/hospitality industry. I mostly keep to myself, don’t say to much, sip on my Sam Adam’s and take a few Jameson space-filler-shots and before I know it my shift is over and my bar tab is around 12 bucks. It's like going out without going out and not being some douchey promoter. I can still look myself in the mirror at the end of the night and know I have not sold my soul. There’s a fine line between being pathetic and being a genius, so I like to think I am both. Part of being a genius is being unkempt, so I am growing my hair, for how long I cannot say. I’ll stop somewhere before reaching the edge of my hair’s universe. I am hoping the result is not in parallel to the real universe, where eventually the mass will become so great that it collapses in upon itself destroying everything, i.e. going bald. I’ll need a Baron Davis beard fast if that happens.